Finding friends as a working single parent

[Lostandtired]

As pathetic as this sounds, I have only realised after my husband leaving just how isolated I am.

all the ‘friends’ I had were really just the partners of his friends and I haven’t spoken to any of them since he left me 2 months ago.

I have a 20 month old, currently living with family temporarily as I try desperately to sort out the house to sell and I work full time Monday to Friday. Ex only takes the wee one for a few on hours one day at the weekend (and has already missed several weekends due to having his own plans).

I feel so lonely. I was so used to having someone to talk to everyday about everything and anything and now that’s gone. I speak to a few people at work but none I could really consider a friend and they all have their own stuff going on.

I have very low self esteem anyway, only made worse by ex up and leaving me 8 months after getting married with the reason being that ‘he doesn’t see me that way anymore’. He also told me he had been thinking of leaving me for years (before buying what I thought was our forever home, having our child and getting married). He hasn’t given an explanation for why he went through will all those things if he didn’t actually want to be with me.

Along with grieving the life I thought I had, I now just feel so lonely and in desperate need for some adults to talk to outside of my family.

How on earth are you supposed to meet ‘friends’ when all mum groups run during the week while I work, evenings are taken up with dinner/bath/bed routine for wee one and weekends are spent doing all the stuff that needs done (food shop etc) and doing things with/for my son?!

I feel for you. I’m in a somewhat similar position but without the family.
i guess you need to work out when you’d like to be seeing/talking to friends. Phone call after kids bedtime? Leave family babysitting and go out in evenings? Meet families at weekends? then you could post in local mums groups trying to make those kinds of links.
I joined a local women’s group and reached out to other mums.
As kids get bigger I’m finding there starts to be more headspace. In the meantime you might find you want some counselling just to vent it all out, without having to give up the time to listen to other people’s stuff as well!
it will get easier I’m sure, blink and they’ll be at school which gives a network to tap into. Make the most of family too.
Youre carrying a lot without your ex doing childcare. I hope he’s giving you his share of financial support and if that needs to be spent on babysitting or household help or delivery of shopping then do it, what benefits your wellbeing will benefit your child too I reckon.
this place is pretty good for a friendly ear too of course!