Ex stopping me seeing child

[liverpoollife]

Dad here, need some advice.
separated 6 months ago.
I have my son 4 nights a week.
I work full time.
I would usually drop my son off at his mothers at 4 or 5 in afternoon on a Sunday after having him Saturday then I go to night shift . I usually do a mixture of night shifts or days all to suit around my ex .
it’s getting to the point where im not getting enough sleep and sometimes am awake all night and day. I wanted to change my night shift on a Sunday to a Sunday day which would mean dropping my son back early on Sunday. I have my son every Monday . My ex has kicked off and said I’m not getting him again not to come back for him. Can she do this ?

No, of course not. If you can't organise access between yourselves, you will need to go to family court. Seek some advice from a solicitor on how best to proceed.

should I attempt to collect my son tomorow or leave it and go see a solicitor ?

it’s your choice

Is this documented in writing? It needs to be.
I would send a message saying that you'll pick son up as normal tomorrow.
If she declines, contact a Mediator. If you haven't used one before there is currently a voucher through the government where I think you get 2 hrs free so look into it. While doing mediation get everything organised, think long term. Holidays. Birthdays, Christmas. Everything. If mum refuses to attend or you can't agree then it's Family Court time.
When you said about changing your shift, have you given notice? Or an instant change?

I havnt changed it yet I just proposed it .
can my ex go to a solicitor and pick what days time she wants . I feel like I have worked around her for so long . She doesn’t work

See a solicitor
you’ll need mediation to try to come up with a proposal and agreement fir a child arrangements order

be civil, factual in all communications
start by emailing your request and why
keep all correspondence/text/emails etc

state that you expect to collect as normal

She can request arrangements via cao, as can you. Mediation will be expected to try to reach agreement
ultimately if you can’t agree a judge will
keep all requests child focussed

I don’t understand the timelines. It’s Sunday now 3pm. According to your op you have him now?

So did you just drop your son off this morning instead of your usual 4pm without prior agreement with his mother?

No she requested him back early today as it was her other child’s birthday Any other Sunday is after 4

as I said it’s always to suit her and on her terms

Of course you should attempt to collect your child, he might be expecting you.

Whatever happens when you try to collect, if she’s going to throw about threats like that then you need to go to court and get contact ordered so she can’t do it again.

@liverpoollifeGo and see a solicitor and start mediation. It’s not fair on dc to mess them about. You get agreed days and times and stick to it. Often a working man will want 5 or 6 nights out of 14 and dc needs stability for school.

This. Consider what is best for your child. Also what is practical for both your employment.

Propose a reasonable routine that allows you each to have quality weekend time with your dc, as well as the routine of school pickups and drop offs.

See a solicitor, then go to mediation. If you can't agree then the court will set a routine.

You don’t need £££ on a solicitor if you are competent enough to complete a form. !

1.
Try Mediation First (unless exempt)

You must usually attend a MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) before applying, unless you’re exempt (e.g., domestic abuse, urgent risk, or certain other conditions).

• Find a mediator at: www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk
• If exempt, you’ll need to state the exemption on your court form.

2.
Complete Form C100

This is the main court application form for a Child Arrangements Order.

• Download from: Form C100 (GOV.UK)

✔ You’ll need:

• Details about you and the other party
• The child(ren)’s details
• What you’re asking the court to decide
• Mediation (MIAM) attendance or exemption

3.
Optional: Include Form C1A (Allegations of Harm)

If you are raising concerns about domestic abuse or risk to the child, include Form C1A:

• Download: Form C1A (GOV.UK)

4.
Pay the Fee (or Apply for Help)

• Court fee: £232 (as of 2025)
• You can apply for Help with Fees if on a low income:
• Apply here → Apply for Help with Fees

5.
Submit Your Application

You can apply:

• Online via the HMCTS portal:
• Apply online for a CAO (GOV.UK)
• By post to your local Family Court (find it here)
• Send to: Family Court nearest to where the child lives

6.
Court Process

After you apply:

• CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) may contact you to assess safeguarding concerns.
• First court hearing is usually a First Hearing Dispute Resolution Appointment (FHDRA).
• Court may make a final decision or list further hearings.