I want to leave but I'm scared

[ILoveTheOcean]

I fell out of love with DH years a go for many reasons, but I stayed because of our son. Because I have no family in the UK. My family live a 11hr flight away, I am alone here and worried about the financial implications and caring for our son.

Are there any single mums in the Reading area who clear around £2400 who can reassure me that it is possible to survive on this as a single parent?

Of course I'm also plagued by thoughts of the future i.e what if something happens to me, or I lose my job, or I get sick or something but then other times I think there is no point in worrying about any of that because I might actually be fine too, I might thrive and become healthier both financially and physically. You just never know..

This is such a hard decision to make and in the meantime, I can see my husband is also suffering as a result of my emotional distance. Because he is trying to make efforts, but years of his citisism, lack of compassion, texting other women and downright contempt at times has made me so cold and hard. I can't bring myself to reciprocate his efforts. I've got to a point where I don't hate him for it anymore, but I also just don't feel the same anymore, and don't believe I ever will again.

Morning,

How old is your son? I am also in a similar predicament. Have you looked at from a financial perspective what it would look like financially, i.e. a spreadsheet? I did this based on our current outgoings as a family and it really doesn't leave a great deal of maneuvering but I guess that's the option we take. We know life will be a lot different financially and in lots of ways. The alternative is to stay and be relatively unhappy but be settled financially and with your son. On the flip side your needs also come first and I think is this what we want our children to see what a loving healthy relationship is supposed to be?

Lots to think about and if you want to discuss privately please PM me.

My income is about this from part-time work and universal credit. Two children. We live quite comfortably and I save but I do get behind on priority bills. I am socially housed and in a very, very cheap part of the country with rent of only 400.

I stayed with my ex for years and should have left much, much sooner. My mental health and financial situation took a dive, I got some debt written off, but I rose up further than I could have imagined and am so much happier.

My child struggled with the separation and upheaval. She is also doing much better now because her primary carer is so much happier. Financial hits are worth it. Psychological hits are also worth it.

I'm finally happy.

I don’t think people can answer this because it largely depends on your housing. Will you need to pay rent or mortgage ?

what assets do you have? How will these be split? Will that buy you a house/large equity portion? Are there pensions? Etc

hiw old is your child, will you get cms?

are you working full time? Will you be entitled to any universal credit etc etc

You need to understand all of these types of things to help work out your options, choices and trade offs