Home Buyout

[Aimee3]

I recently bought my ex out of our family home and whilst I am very happy to still be here I can't seem to get it into my head that it's actually MY home.
I would like to totally decorate and that will take time but sometimes when I am here it brings back all the bad memories.
Any tips/ideas on how to get through this or would love to hear from anyone going through a similar situation x

Similar situation but I remember buying an Ikea Poang chair.... he always said I wasn't allowed! That helped me to turn a corner and realise I could have my space any way I wanted!

Ooh. I'm currently going through that process and I have already got plans on how to redecorate some area's - mainly bedrooms. I cannot wait.

Find something you can afford to do (even if it's just having a clear out) to change the home to make it feel more 'yours'.

Do your bedroom. Doesn't need repainting as such but get new bedding, change curtains maybe and get a vase, statue or a picture and put it somewhere you'll see when you wake up. Get the start and end of your day to suit you best first.

Watching with interest. I have wondered whether this will happen to me too. He's already 'living rent-free in my head' in so many other ways. Looking around our home (not started buying out yet but seeing advisor next month), almost everything is stuff I've chosen or bought or inherited -all things I love and would choose again- but at the moment, it's as if the dread of it all has seeped into the very fibres of the things and I know it's going to be quite a process to 'row the house back' from where we are now. Wishing you so much peace in your home, OP.

Clear out every last bit of his things - even from the loft and shed
get rid of all photos
get rid of all ornaments / knick knacks from anniversary presents / gifts / shared holidays etc
Do all the bits of DIY he said he’d do but could never be bothered (I think this annoyed him the most when he turned up one day to pick up some things and I was up a ladder! Almost like a kick in the teeth that I really really didn’t need him anymore!)
then take room at a time to redecorate. I started with the lounge as it’s the first room to come into everyday and relax the most in. My bedroom is actually the final one. For me it was choosing colours I know he’d have hated, soft furnishings etc making the whole house decidedly more feminine

Thank you guys for all your replies. It's going to take time but I can't do it all at once xx

One day at a time and bit by bit. Financially probably none of us can do it all at once either x

Just do one thing at a time. It doesn't have to be everything at once.
I actually started with the kids' bedrooms...got those sorted and set up nicely for them. Then did my bedroom. We've got a walk-in closet that's annoyed me for years. I've now got actual storage in there and it looks more tidy. I took our old marital bed apart and put in a new one.
Then I did the guest bedroom and finally my study, which used to be his study, since I'm now going back to work. Eventually, once I've got the money saved, I'll get the outside stuff sorted. We've got planning permission for an extension and I'd like to get the house sorted outside as well. My DM is sorting the garden and trying to make it easier for me to keep tidy. My ex loved the garden and there are so many plants....I'm not a plant person.