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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

When does it feel better?

2 replies

SlateandSteel · 29/07/2025 07:23

Recently separated from H and he stayed in the family home. I’ve moved into a lovely house a couple of miles away, H kept all furniture and I bought all new, it’s beautiful but I’m mourning the family home terribly. I’m feeling intense grief that I made a terrible mistake and we should all have stayed together as a family. Every day I torture myself, made worse by how H says I destroyed our lives and “you’ve done this” when he sees me upset. I left due to his behaviour. He says “no one will ever love me like he does”

Everyday I have cried and been physically sick, I can’t eat and I feel physical pain at what I’ve lost.

Thinking about the old family home is intensely painful, my house is beautiful but it’s not the home that my children have known for their whole lives. I know in time I will create new memories but now everything is so raw. I’m very frightened for the future.

I feel like I didn’t know what I had until it was gone but I did have very good reasons for ending it. I’ve even considered begging my H to have me back! Or requesting a trial separation.

When does it feel better? I feel like my home will never feel like a proper home for my children and will always come second.

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 29/07/2025 07:43

It’s very early stages op. The reasons you have split are still valid and would still be there if you went back. Dont do it. Focus on getting through the days and being kind to yourself. Things will start to feel better with time.

Fishergirl · 29/07/2025 12:35

I can understand why you feel like you do. You're not just dealing with the stress and upset at the separation, but the move to a new house as well. Loads of people find that upsetting in itself.
I'd recommend making a list of the reasons why you have separated from your husband and then reading this when you have a wobbly moment. I've done the same and find it helps me when I feel guilt and upset at our split. I'm sure this hasn't been an easy decision so trust your judgement.
I'm sure your home will begin to feel more familiar and more like yours as the weeks pass.

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