Are we really expected to continue to live together for 2 years?

[mzlouise]

DH and I have agreed to separate. Both in our 50s with teenage daughter. We are in N Ireland were we can't even file for a divorce until we are separated minimum of 2 years. I want to buy him out of the house and for him to buy his own place nearby. We have agreed 50/50 split, which will allow us both to afford something reasonable to live in. but being advised not to do so until financial consent order agreed but this will take at least 2 years. Neither of us can wait that long at our age to move on. So what really are the risks if we document how our finances are to be split and just go ahead? Renting isn't an option for us for various reasons.

You don’t have to be physically apart for two years…just not living as husband/wife. So you could lie and give a date further along to speed it up. So if you’ve not had sex for 2 years, slept in separate rooms etc then you’re good. But you’ll both have to agree on a date.

Do you mean 50:50 on just the equity - or ALL assets, including pensions and investments? Have you sought legal advice?

Do not agree a financial settlement without talking to a competent family solicitor!

50/50 split of everything. We only have some savings and pensions. No investments, we don't even have any joint accounts. We earn the same amount of money so no maintenance will be due. At a later date the pensions will have to be sorted out but that's the only thing. But if a judge felt he deserved something different to that further down the line I don't think I'd have an issue with that.

So my question is, what are the risks of me buying him out of the home before our finances are legally agreed? Id like to understand that so I can decide myself whether I'm prepared to take that risk. I suspect it must be common enough here as I know of a few couples where they split and one bought a new house very quickly.

We sold our house and split it 50:50 way ahead of divorce. Depends on your relationship/amicability and circumstances

we earned the same and had similar pensions and agreed to keep our own assets/pensions and split the house 50:50 knowing it wouldn’t be contested by a court.

You do need to be aware of cgt rules and timelines however so you don’t get hit with second home stamp duty and cgt etc

I am not aware of the tax laws in Ireland, so I’d take advice on how to buy/transfer names to minimise any tax penalty.

The main risk is that he spends the money. He could take the 50% equity and spend it on holidays and booze, then he’d probably be awarded another 50% of the remaining equity in the family home at the point of divorce.

I think the safest way to live separately would be to jointly buy another home, then do the financial split when you get divorced. But that depends on second home rules/taxes etc, so I’d get advice first.

I mean I don't know the law in NI as am in England. We should not proceed without the financials being sealed by the court. What we have done is had them drawn up, signed and dated them with a copy each for me, him and a spare that will go to the court when the time comes. We have agreed a pure 50/50 with pensions, property and savings.

Due to this we have agreed to carry on with the financials as though it has been sealed by the court. So I am transferring the marital home into my name and giving him cash equivalent of half the equity and he is using that equity to buy his own flat. The only thing after that is the pension sharing order (I have a much larger pension than him).

I have been advised that when I transfer him the cash that I email him to say I am transferring you x amount in accordance with the consent order for our divorce financial settlement to x account number and sort code. Please confirm receipt of that payment. Then when he confirms receipt keep that email. That way it cannot be disputed.

OP isn't living in Ireland