Divorce dilemma

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I wonder if anyone can help with a slightly odd one! My husband and I have just separated. I have remained in the family home whilst he has moved out to a house in a nearby town. We have two children, both teenagers who we are sort of doing 50:50 with. Things are amicable, but obviously there is tension.

My question is about finances. Currently my husband out earns me by a long way but I have more capital and pay school fees. I also paid for a lot of the family house. Some of the money is in both our names, some just in mine. I know that this will be split 50:50 in the divorce, when we get to that stage, which is of course fine. However, my husband has just told me that he is planning to apply for voluntary redundancy. He hasn't been happy at work for a long time, but has resisted leaving/doing anything about it (despite a lot of encouragement from me to do so) and this timing seems odd. I am worried that he is going to claim that he needs more than a 50% share financially when we get to the divorce. Does anyone know whether, if he has given up his job voluntarily, he can do this? If it makes any difference he is older than me, so in theory could be retiring in 8 years.

We have recently looked through the court paperwork and it did state in there about 'future earning potential' so I am not sure how that would fair for him - although your best bet is to get legal advice.

Mediators are perfect for this sort of situation ours helped us make sense of all the complex stuff and come to something fair for the financial split.

I’m sorry you are going through all this - it’s a very upsetting time.

I agree about mediation. My ex and I did this, and it was extremely helpful to be able to talk through things with a professional, who understands the complexities and just wants you to reach a fair understanding and solution. You have to give them full financial disclosure.

When my ex started moaning about not earning much (even though he had voluntarily put loads of money and time into rental properties, some of it behind my back!) the mediator was not impressed and just said to him, “you are a qualified chartered accountant - why don’t you go and get a job?” That shut him up!

I am pretty sure that, if your husband is voluntarily giving up work but is still perfectly capable of earning a good salary, and is in good health, then they will treat it as if he is still actually earning (because he is capable of doing so…)
At the very least, I’m sure they will find it pretty suspicious that he intends to give up work at this time.

I would keep a very good note of timelines, his current salary, and redundancy pay if I were you!

Thank you all. Perhaps I should suggest mediation. I had thought it best to head straight to solicitors (but was hoping to wait for a while until things are less raw) as know a couple of people for whom mediation hasn't worked and they've had to go to solicitors in the end anyway. My financial situation is also complicated to say the least!

You can both argue that future income is based on maximised income potential. If he is currently earning 100k then that is how much he can earn. And this is arguably the figure that should be used in the needs calculation.

Remember he can use this argument as well. You will need to show you are maximising your income as well.

There can also be a case for equalising bread earning roles. For example if one party works 5 days a week and the other works 3 days a week the outcome could be both working 4 days a week to equalise bread winning and home making responsibilities.

A court would not accept voluntary redundancy as a reason to increase asset split. There's fairness and also you are expected to both "maximise your earnings potential".

Don't worry too much as this stage. He should get another job and in mediation, separation agreement or court, however you end up there the expectation of you both working will be expected. :)

If the court makes the decision on dividing your finances, it will do so by reference to the factors listed at section 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 which you’ll be able to find with a quick google search. Those factors include a person’s income as well as their earning capacity. It means the court is looking not just at what a person currently earns but what the court considers they could and should be earning. So in your case, the court won’t accept that your partner has a £0 income and that’s it. It will go on to consider what he could and should be earning. This is likely to be based on his employment history as well as a review of the current job market, available roles etc.

There are various routes to resolving your financial affairs. Doing so directly between you is the easiest (and of course cheapest) option. If that’s not doable, you can try mediation. If that doesn’t work or you feel you need particular advice, engage the services of a family solicitor. The Resolution website will be able to suggest good options in your area. From there, your solicitor will be able to advise you on the best route forward.

Court will expect you to try to try to do alternative despute resolution. Try it, you'll know within 3 sessions if you can do a deal or not and if not don't waste time/funds. If you can settle it's far cheaper to do so.

Be pragmatic and just because it didn't work for your friends doesn't mean it won't work for you. Don't make it work if it isn't though, cut your losses get mediator to sign the exemption and Form A to court you go. (Don't waste time with solicitors a d extra expensive, until your in the process.) Once you're in and clock has started you don't have to use court but it's there as a backstop.
Solicitors without court backstop is just as expensive and wasteful of time and money if the other person doesn't want to settle

Sometimes they need to hear a judge say "this is how it should settle, go and reach agreement!"

You got this x

It's your divorce and it's better (and cheaper) for you to come to a decision together about everything.
I agree with pp re solicitors/mediation/court advise.

Would his voluntary redundancy come with a sizable payout that could be included? My husband has just opted for voluntary severance and it was a great package.

This has happened to two of my friends recently in divorce, both men had high earnings but left their roles to pursue "self employment" during the divorce negotiations. Doesn't seem that uncommon unfortunately. Seek advice from a solicitor on how to proceed, it sounds like there's more than one financial aspect you'll need advice on.

The court expect you to have tried mediation unless there is abuse. Also, it tends to be considerably cheaper than doing everything via solicitors.

I’ve just been through this. I have sole responsibility for my 3 children 10, 8 & 6, their father is awaiting a charging decision for child sexual abuse (mine) and creation and possession of indecent images of a child (not mine). I am a student and prior to that didn’t work so I could raise the children. I left with pretty much our clothes and moved in with my mother. Our house was worth £350k. Since separation he suffered a stroke and got a significant critical illness payout. The house and the payout were taken into consideration in my settlement. I also retained 100% of my pension. This was based on my lack of earnings. I had been a student for a few years prior to the split. My lawyer argued my earnings would be limited due to childcare.

if you can resolve it yourself then I would urge you to do so as my legal fees were in excess of £20k sadly.

I used a divorce coach - Emma Heptonstall
She was great (ex lawyer, ex meditator) lovely human and a great support!

Do you both have easy access to your joint finances? What’s to stop him taking it all out in his name? My ex step dad burned through the equity in the house just to spite my mum. Judge was not happy but money was gone.
This meant judge awarded a hefty chunk of pension to my mum so now every month ex stepdad sees the pension payment go out and he had a decent public sector pension.
leasing the bmw and the 5 star ⭐️ holidays probably weren’t worth it

If he takes a (presumably large) redundancy payment before the financial settlement then he's an idiot. Let him crack on. That money will just go into the pot to be split 50/50 too!

It won’t necessarily be split 50:50 at all !

Thank you everyone. It looks like we need to give mediation a go - it's good to hear some positive stories about how it has worked for others.

Yes, any voluntary redundancy would come with a sizeable payout which in theory could be split 50:50, although then what would he live on? I want him to have a good life with a nice home for our children. I hate that this is what it's come to! I know everyone must.

When I divorced we both got solicitors but prettt much put them on hold whilst we tried mediation. Some things did get sorted in mediation (and my solicitor suggested mediation via a charity which saved on costs). We got kicked out of meditation but it had saved some costs and got some things sorted.
i would also suggest doing as much background work for yourself as you can. For example I found some great guides on solicitors websites to Form E. And this is something I suggest you start filling in ASAP, as it will give you a much better idea of where money and expenses are. (And be generous with what you claim, although my Ex’s claim of £500 a month on “entertainment” did seem excessive).