How do you do 50/50?

[thetruthisout]

I am currently splitting from my ex partner, he’s very angry about it and does not want me to go. He wants to have the kids for the first three weeks of the holidays and the I have them for the last three. I want to do it week by week so we both don’t go three weeks without seeing the kids. How does everyone else do it and how did you decide?

We keep to our usual schedule (5/2/2/5) unless someone (dad as I cannot afford overseas holidays, or any holidays 😆) wants to go away, then we just make up the time, tend to just do a week or 10 days away so it’s just an extra weekend.

3 weeks away from either parent is a long time, we have done it a couple of times as live overseas from both family’s (long haul) and it wasn’t great for anyone.

Will he be taking 3 weeks off work? Or will they be in holiday care? That would be one of my considerations, also how old are they?

He hasn’t got a job at the moment, the kids are 8 and 12 and the 8 yr old is very attached to me, I personally think she would hate three weeks away from either of us. She doesn’t even like to go on residentials with school. He keeps changing his mind as to what he wants to do. Also he never cooks or cleans or puts the kids to bed so they are only used to me doing everything.

Is the plan to do 50/50 all year round, I ask as you say you are currently going through divorce so this may not be finalised.

could you meet somewhere in the middle, with him not working, he could have them during the day but they sleep at home with you?
im not sure how hands on he is but three weeks alone with any kids will be exhausting, especially without the structure of school.

have a think about why you really think he wants this, has he thought it through? Is he punishing you? Can you appeal to the father in him? Try to sell him on the upside of week about, or at least leave it on the table for him if he won’t agree now as I’m sure after a week he will be worn out and maybe looking for a break?

So there is a massive backstory, he is very controlling and basically is saying this to try to make me reverse my decision and just stay. He knows all I care about is the children and using them is the only way he can get to me. When he has them by himself he aways goes to his mums so she can make them dinner etc.