Ways to end marriage so it’s amicable? is that possible!

[Lucyf10]

Bit of background, we got together when i was 21 and been together for 15 yrs, we have 3 children and the eldest is 13. So much has changed in terms of our personalities which i know is normal as we have grown up but now we are so far apart i can’t see a way back. I haven’t felt happy or like i physically and emotionally want him in that way for about 3 yrs. I Won’t bore you with all the details but our sex life is very sparse & he is very frustrated with me for that so a lot of resentment.

I feel like i’ve made the decision that i need to start sorting myself an exit plan out. However i was seeking some advice the best way to do this to hurt everyone as least as possible. He is a decent guy but i fear he won’t be when i drop the bomb that i am done. Do i suggest a break? counselling? it’s all very scary especially with the living situation would i be expected to leave the house if it’s my decision?? i currently work from home 2 days a week and do all the parenting load but obviously once it happens i will need a full time job.

Scary thoughts but it’s even more scary to think of me at 50 and not being happy for all those years

I have only just started thinking through my options so can’t offer much. I will also be the initiator and the legal advice I was given was not to move out until the divorce is finalised.

If he is frustrated with you as well then maybe he thinks the same way

To make it amicable maybe try not and say I'm leaving you as it looks like you are being nasty

Maybe try and be neutral about it if that makes senses

When I did my divorce as well we both used the same solicitor for divorce negotiations

There was no discussions before that about who would get what and would happen

Having a neutral party was good as she said what was fair and what was not, we were not trying to fight it out amongst ourselves

We now get on fine together (better than before and I've had other partners since then)

Be calm and fair at all times and always make it clear that you are not trying to screw them over and hopefully they will act in the same way

@Lucyf10 You can’t change the news you need to give or how he will react. You can try and be kind when you tell him and say all the “right” things but you can’t control what he hears when you say it.

Wouldn’t bother with the expense or charade of counselling that just seems cruel and lien you’d be giving false hope when you know it’s going to end anyway/

Whether it’s amicable is actually kinda on him if you’re all for it. How he reacts, how he feels after he’s digested things.