Divorce then stay living together? Anyone know about this?

[thisist]

I’d like to get divorced as soon as possible but have my ex and I remain living in our marital home until our youngest is older. Probably another 6 years. Is it possible to do this? To completely separate ourselves financially etc and have a legal agreement in place that the house will be sold in approx 6 years and equity shared 50/50?

If any of you know anything about this idea please advise. I can’t currently afford solicitors fees.

No, neither of us are bothered about seeking other relationships. Yes, we really can’t see any other option than continuing to live together for another 6 years. I could carry on without the divorce but my parents want to gift me some money but won’t until we are legally separated.

Anyone? Hopeful bump

Yes you can get divorced and live together. For the purposes you're talking about it would be important to get the financial order, otherwise you're still attached,.

In this country legally separated doesn't really have a meaning, would really only be done by people whose religion doesn't let them get divorced.

The idea you can get divorced and stay friends and live together .... what if one of you wants to bring friends home ....

If you try to claim any benefits as a single person DWP will investigate you first fraud.

I can see why this appeals but, personally, don't see it's feasible.
A friend of mine tried to live with her STBX for six months and it killed any hope of a successful co-parenting relationship because they were so frustrated.

I know people who have done this due to finances/equity not allowing them both to buy somewhere that would accomodate all the children and struggling to find rentals near schools etc.
They had a lot of rules in place about "overnight" guests and hosting dinner parties, people etc. People say they don't want a new relationship at first but it may not work out like that. I think having seperate spaces, clear agreed boundaries and privacy is key.

Other people I knew did a mix of things after splitting: One couple had a loft extension with ensuite and the exH lived up there, had it like a bedsit basically for several years. They had family meals/film night a few times a week. Another couple sold up and bought a house with a basement flat and he lived there and the rest of the family lived upstairs. I also know a couple who converted their house into two flats - cheaper than selling up and splitting equity and trying to get new mortgages in the area.

We’ve already done it for 5 years, except not divorced. We’ve actually been doing it. It isn’t appealing, it’s necessary due to the housing crisis and personal circumstances.

Is it because neither of you want to leave the kids 50% of the time?

I am in the process of divorce, been separated almost 3 months and still living together and cant wait to get out. We are getting on ok, but this half in half out isn't doing my mental health any good.

The kids still wake me up on 'his' mornings, I don't get much time to relax on my days off as STBExH stays at home with the kids where I tend to take them out to do things. Once the kids are in bed we don't talk at all, which is fine, but he tends to go out in the evenings with not much notice, literally a 'bye' as he leaves meaning I don't feel I can make plans to go out as he seems to see me as default childcare once they are asleep. Its breeding resentment on my part. I mean, I don't have a busy social life, party because I am so sad a lot of the time

And don't start me on the housework. I do the majority, despite working more hours and doing more childcare, I think he literally doesn't see the mess and doesn't realise he dumps his cereal bowl in the sink every day. It's all small things which sound petty if I bring them up, so instead I'm just biding my time and cant wait to get the financial agreement done so we can sell the house and I can get rid of him.

Ex dh & I tried this. We split extremely amicably and co parented beautifully for 6 months or so.

Neither of us planned to meet anyone else but he did and the dynamic totally changed. With hindsight we were totally naive and just delaying the inevitable heartache for us all.
In less than a year he had moved out and I remained in the family home with the dc. They adjusted quickly and are largely unaffected by it all (they’re both now adults)