She wants to change DD last name

[Throwaway28]

So I am going through a desperation , I am the father, I am on the named father on birth certificate.

We are 6 months into separation and she has gone for CMS(she thought I was hiding my extra income )

Anyway , I have moved on and she found out she will get half of what I have been willingly giving her . I think out of anger she has told me she is sending documents to change our child's last name and has not told me what are the reasons behind this.

I know by law she can't change it just because, when baby was born, I suggested for a double barrel name and she refused ,now for what I excpet is bitterness , she wants to completely change our baby's last name to hers.

I WON'T ALLOW THAT WITHOUT A FIGHT IN A MILLION YEARS!

what are the chances she will get her way legal wise?

She won’t. For a child under 16 you need both parents permission or she needs to prove you’re not contactable.

Hmm. Why would you say it matters so much to you? Still your child.

She can’t. Similar thing happened to a family member and he wasn’t even married to the mum,
he just didn’t sign the papers so nothing she could do.

It would need a court order (Specific Issue Order), and my understanding is that they are generally not granted unless you have a 'bad name' like being a convicted murderer.
Perhaps you could go back to suggest the double name ???! lol

Cases Where the Mother's Application Was Granted
Re A (a Child) [1999] EWCA Civ 2030: The mother applied to change the child's surname from the father's (A) to her maiden name due to the father's notoriety as a criminal, with a 21-year prison sentence. The district judge granted the change, and the Court of Appeal upheld it, emphasizing the risk of harm to the child due to the father's reputation. This case highlights that safety concerns can justify a name change Deed Poll Office - Case Law.

Cases Where the Mother's Action Was Reversed or Denied
Re T (Change of Name) [1998] EWCA Civ 854: The mother unilaterally changed the twins' surnames from T to F via Deed Poll without the father's consent, citing family unity with older siblings. The father applied for a Specific Issue Order to revert the surname to T. The Court of Appeal allowed the father's appeal, finding the mother's action unlawful and ordering the surname reverted, emphasizing the need for consent or court approval and the child's stability Deed Poll Office - Case Law.

how much are you caring for your daughter and how old is she?

Just trying to work out why the mum now wants to change her name. What was the reason for the split?

She sounds spiteful and vindictive. Not a good sign at all for a co-parenting arrangement.

Start documenting absolutely everything.

My mam changed my name by deed poll and just lied saying my bio dad abandoned us and there was no way of contacting him. This was 20 years ago, not sure how easy that would be to do these days. But possible 🤷🏻‍♀️

How would you feel if a father changed your child's surname during a bitter separation just to get at you out of spite?

Her suggestion to change her last name obviously suggest she wants to cut me out ...this is a start because there is obviously no need to change her name what so ever . I cannot see any reasoning behind it

I had severe depression and I ended up losing my job so it was a financial matter which caused the split, no cheating or anything that's regarded as the usual reason for splits,

We actually have not even officially called it quits ,just last week she insisted we had a family weekend when it was my weekend with the baby(I see her two weekends a month) . She moved the baby 4 hours drive away to live with her sister temporarily as she cannot afford accomodation on her own.

Well that would be silly to try now because I obviously will be travelling with my child on holidays ,involving in her education and medical etc.

Very helpful thankful.

This backs up by research ,thank you. Not a single clue why she wants this or why she thinks I will just say yes ,go ahead.

I am learning as I grow about how spiteful some people can be .

She fully knows my mental health state and how much child is the main reason I keep going and working hard to be able to provide.

because this child already exists and has a name, she agreed on her name and now wants to change it out of spite.

it’s still mums child, why would it matter so much to her?

Start court proceedings so the child cannot be moved 4 hours away. Four days a month is not parenting

Why don't you keep sending her the same amount of money? Why would you send less money to your child if you can send more?

It's the mother's wish to go by CMS. That's what she wanted.
OP should be aiming to parent at least 50% of the time

Op you need a lawyer like yesterday. You both need to sit down and work out residency, finances and housing for all of you. Allowing her to move 4 hours away was very stupid of you. This has set a precedent and as she is only a baby if this continues court will most likely allow her to stay living so far away. Continue to pay via cms but perhaps you directly purchase things for your daughter (clothes, toys etc.) in addition to help your ex if she doesn’t have much money. Don’t get adversarial about money all of you will suffer if you do. Keep your daughter as the focus. Good luck

I think you have to have both parents sign a deed poll. Could you double barrel? That is what we did on separation. DC was a baby. If they are older might be different

I'd advise starting family court now re access. There's a pretty long delay in most areas for straightfward cases, and it sounds as though you may well need it by the time it's your turn.

who said 4 days a month is parenting or not and? Sorry it disappoints you.

We agreed on this because the move made sense for both of us (she has a physically disability and needs constant support from someone (we are okay with this *as she cannot have full time work, I have supported her financially throughout our relationship and I have to keep my Job/Business going)

Focus on the issue asked.

I'm fine thanks, posters are free to reply to whatever areas they choose.

If the child’s mother cannot care for her either physically or financially, then the father needs to have the child live with them.