Hi,
We are going through separation at the moment and I've got terrible fear over the child custody, could anyone with experience let me know what you think?
He has always worked away. He currently works 2 months on 2 months off, but this is the "best" it has been - previously he's worked away almost all year, coming back just for weekends.
Throughout this I've done all the child raising - and worked full time. 3 children. They have spent their whole lives being raised by me.
He's now saying that he wants them to live with him in the 6 months that he is in the country, and live with me for the other 6. I think this is not good at all- the children aren't used to this, the longest they have ever been away from me is about 4 days. I think it would be traumatic for them, especially the youngest (9)
Instead I've suggested that the children live with me, and that we work out a pattern that suits them when he comes back into the country, based on what suits each child. I really wouldn't oppose them going to their father when he's in the country.
He's currently saying no - I've to "fuck off" when he's in the country.
Aside from this issue, the separation is down to his constant infidelity and a nastiness that's come out in his chatacter- calling me terrible names, saying he wants to ruin my life, accusing me of stealing money, oh the list goes on. When I raise any of it with him he tells me "I'm abusive"
He doesn't want to pay maintenance and will get away with it because I don't have access to his bank details and he works for an international company. He's already assured the eldest (16) that he won't pay for him as he's over 16 (he plans on going to uni)
So with all this in mind..... do I need to worry about losing my kids to this man?
Financially ill be stretched, I'm not a high earner like him, but I'll manage.
Please let me know what you think about the custody situation.