HELP! Husband left me and our 3 children in September - together almost 20 years, married 14. Moved 300 miles away from East Anglia to the South West. Had little or no contact with the children (now 18, 15 and 14) - what contact he did have was inconsistent. Promising he would visit and failing to do so. Children and I moved to the SW early 2025 to be near family. 18yo has no contact with Dad due to his, bordering on, emotional and physical abuse and narcissistic tendencies. Inconsistent contact with two younger children (one diagnosed AuDHD, second awaiting assessment and trans), cancels contact last minute, etc, etc.
Dad is in a new relationship and has promised 15yo that he can move in with him, GF and her 3yo child in the next couple of months when they move into her larger home. In May Dad sets up regular contact for 15yo (impressionable and easily manipulated due to AuDHD) every other weekend. First weekend contact 15yo is allowed to drive Dad's truck and crashes it into a sign, a vehicle and a building - thankfully not injured. Accident is witnessed and Dad provides details. Next contact weekend 15yo is blamed for the damage to the vehicle and that Dad is going to lose his licence and won't be able to work. It is also discussed by Dad and GF in front of 15yo whether they should tell the Police that child was driving.
On Monday I receive a call from 15yo's AP saying that he disclosed having received a photo of a naked child from a friend - MASH referral made and meeting with Police next week to discuss. I confiscate phone. 15yo asks for the phone back before Police meeting so he can delete photos and videos of him and Dad smoking weed and drinking all weekend during latest contact.
I am by no means a perfect parent. But I am consistent and do everything I can to keep our children safe. Where do I go from here people?