Hi all. Just need some advice as currently separated from my husband but things are really difficult to figure out. My husband and I bought a house in January. We chose my hometown because I was given a 3 year training job there. He works in a hybrid job 3 days in the office and 2 days work from home about 1.5 hours away from the house (though when hes with his own family hes doing an hour commute). We initially agreed with the house but when we moved in together we had several arguments and things became really difficult so we separated in may and my husband asked me for a divorce in response to me saying it a few times as the relationship was struggling. He came back at the start of june and lived in the house alone for 2 weeks. The first week was brilkiant and then we had the same cycle of srgukents the second week. He told me that he didnt really want a divorce and just needed time out from me. In regards to location he initially told me he didnt want to live in my hometown (said this after we were legally obliged to pay for the house after initially being on board with everything) but now he is saying that he wants to sell the house we bought which is a new build and rent in the same city as he doesn't want to pay for the mortgage and bills (in a 70:30 split proportionally to our salaries). However up to yesterday when he mentioned renting he was maintaining his position that he does nkt want to live at all on my hometown and this was only meant to be for 3 years. Im constantly getting mixed messages - one minute he eants to divorce then he doesnt, one inute he wants to be with me then he doesnt, one minute he doesnt want to live where weve bought then he eanats torent.
This is confusing me and I dont know what to do. The only consistent thing is he wants to sell our house because he doesn't eant the responsibility of mortgage and bills but I dont see the point in us selling and then renting which would incur massive financial losses. However he is insistent on wanting to sort the house out and work on the relationship later. What's confusing me is thst I want to work on the relationship and know where we're gping from there and then make a decision about selling the house but he is adamant that the relationship can be thought of after the house is sorted.
Im completely confused because I just want him to return to the happy loving man I married not this one causing my massive amounts of stress. However if we get back together i feel like the trust is broken and so many aspects of the relationship have been torn apart because this version of him is unrecognisable from who he was before but I just want to go back to seeing thst kind person who I married and feel stuck in limbo and dont know how to progress forward.