Moving out before house sale - any experience?

[Zippp]

I saw a solicitor a couple of years ago and applied for a divorce in the autumn of 2023. We got our final order through at the end of 2024. We will split things 50-50 when we sell the house. Until then we have joint accounts and we’re all living together.

The house has been on the market for some time and I don’t see it shifting fast. ExH is reluctant to lower the price, and there’s only so much I want to pressure him. It’s a relatively amicable split but I know he cares a lot about how much he will get for the house.

i am thinking of just moving out. I will be able to get a reasonable mortgage on my salary. We have enough in our savings to pay off the mortgage on current house, or to cover the mortgage payments until the end of the term. When DH finally sells our house, then I’ll get half and can pay off most of the new mortgage.

Has anyone else done this? I just don’t want to start another school year in limbo, have another Christmas when I haven’t been able to move on. If the house doesn’t sell in the next few weeks I expect it’ll stagnate on the market until next year. And we’ve only had one second viewing. What am I risking? I suppose ExH could not really bother to sell off the house. But if necessary I could go back to the solicitor on that. Should I just sit this out for another few months? I am less worried about the financial aspects, I just want to live my life. I will want the proceeds from the house sale as it’ll be about £300k, but I think I can manage without for a while.

help and advice welcome 🙏🏼

I moved out before our shared home went on the market. Ex-P dawdled for a bit around getting it ready to sell and marketed, though I was living in the other property I’d owned before we met so wasn’t desperately in need of the equity, and he did eventually realise our (big, old) house was a bit of a millstone and get his act together. I’m very glad I didn’t stay: even once on the market at a reasonable price, it took a while to sell as it was a fairly unique property, and I’d have been at standstill for almost three years of my life - which turned out to be some of the best years of it and where I relocated, made some great career decisions, and met a whole lot of new friends. I’d not have had those opportunities otherwise.

Whether you choose to move out or stay, either way the two of you need to agree a very firm timeline at which he has to concede the house isn’t selling at the price it’s on for and reduce. Make it clear that either way, you’re prepared to go the court order route if he refuses (and be prepared to have to do it if necessary.) You both need the clean break and emotional separation, and to not be bound by a joint asset. I’m still in touch with Ex-P - but it’s on my terms and because I want to be, not because we have to remain in contact because we’re financially and legally tied by a house.

Thank you so much. Standstill is a very good way of describing what I’m feeling and what I need to move away from. What you suggest about agreeing a timeline is really helpful.

Would you continue having to pay half the bills on your current house- council tax, gas etc? If so, I’d begrudge funding my ex staying there when it’s his choice not to drop the price to sell.

If he’s going to run the home completely and you’re just leaving the equity there, then I’d be tempted to move out in the interim.

However, I’d put in writing (and get him to agree in writing) that after x number of months you’ll drop the price of it continues not to sell. Otherwise he could take years to sell and you’re paying interest on your new mortgage when you don’t technically need one!

Tricky one, can completely understand why you’d want a fresh start.

To be honest, we have enough in joint savings to pay off the mortgage, and paying half of council tax, water, electric etc is a price I am willing to pay to get myself into the next stage of my life.

It would mean that I’d need to get a substantially bigger mortgage than if I waited for the house to be sold, but each year of my life I have to wait is a year when I’m in limbo. ExH might take his foot off the gas with respect to the house sale, but i trust him to get is sold eventually, and he’ll be able to lower the price at his own pace. I think the idea of a written agreement with respect to dropping the price is sensible.

Would you then be eligible for the second home stamp duty? I think this can be pretty hefty.
also by moving out that then reduces the urgency to sell even more.
is he refusing to reduce the price to keep you living together?

I moved out and my ex stalled for 3 years, ending up with a court order to force the sale.

At some point you need to admit that things aren't always be amicable. I think you've got to this point now.

You'll still be liable for the whole of your existing mortgage - any new application to borrow will reduce the offer to take this into consideration: you might not have anywhere near as much borrowing ability as you think.

I agree,,you should be very careful. You need to look at CGT and stamp duty if owning two houses at the same time. There are reliefs to claim the extra back but if your timescales are as uncertain as you indicate, then I think there is substantial risk. The major priority I think is to get the price of the house down, as everything will sell at the right price and you're both just wasting your lives away in the meantime.

Personally will be going through something similar later this year and am quite nervous about my wife and I trying to both buy and move on the day we eventually sell this property, with cats and a ND child in the mix.

In my divorce, i moved out before the house was sold and the house sale took about a year. I ended up having to stay with family for about 2 years as it took a while to find a new house, so it kind of felt like moving on but i also felt stuck in some ways too as alot of waiting around and factors you cant control.

Like others have said, you would need to get advice on capital gains tax and may have to consider renting. You may need to put more pressure on your ex to reduce the price ultimately.

In terms of moving out, how bearable it is for you to stay there? I know people do it for years and years but personally i couldn't. Could you and do you want to? It sounds like you want to begin a new chapter, in which case starting it (even if it turns out to be a bumpy ride, could be preferable than feeling stuck?

You don't need to pay CGT on your home - even if you have moved elsewhere during divorce. (That's what I was advised after not living there for 3 years!)

I will seek advice from the Estate agent this weekend. The house I was going to view tomorrow has an offer on it in any case, so perhaps I need to not get ahead of myself. But I will get a plan quarter-by-quarter, and see if I can agree some points at which we will reduce the price. The house will sell if the price is right, I know that, but ExH will find any loss hard to accept.

Staying in the same house doesn’t feel much different to being married tbh.

There are reliefs available and the likelihood is that CGT won't be payable if selling the house but it's all quite complicated to be honest, I wouldn't assume anything without individual professional advice if I was the OP

I am in the same boat as you