10.90 split

[Mrspinknails]

Married 15. Together 25. Two autisc children who likely won't be independent when they reach 18.
I was the higher earner but will now need yo go part time due to schooling. They are not likely to be able to get to school themselves and I dont have support for this. Nor is my job flexible so id have to work school houses. This will half my take home salary and decrease my pensions hugely. Ex isn't bothered by this. Even with his maintenence that doesn't even cover their monthly food costs. I also need to pay privately for my sons medication ( gp wont do shared care)
He doesn't have the childrne overnight at all and with the settlement will be able to buy a 1 or 2 bed place still. I have already got the mortgage offer approved for me.

We will leave each other's pensions alone.
We will keep our own debts.

We are both in agreement and are both willing to sign a covering letter for our reasons as well as the consent order.
If we both do this will a judge likely approve it? I want to move on with my life and he wants the money to move out of his parents home where he currently js. He cheated but I know the courts dont care about that now.

What are the assets that are being split 90:10? It is just the marital home?

Do you have truly equivalent pensions?

It's worth noting that pensions are often the most valuable assets, and so are definitely worth considering properly.

Yes. We are keeping our own debts and pensions. We dont have savings.

Not really. Mine was worth more but as I'll be going part time my pension will take a massive hit. I still have another 15 years until I retire . Ive had to remortgage until im 72 now and as I say, unlikely my children will be independent so od still need a 3 bed. I can't downsize either.

I think you need to take the pensions into account - this could work significantly in your favour.

Fully agree with @AhTheFuckeningespecially if you’re likely to have financial involvement with your DC for many years yet.
Excluding the debts is an interesting approach unless you are absolutely certain that it’s equitable, including both how the debts were incurred (esp re DC) & repayment expectations.

Experience tells me that an agreement that’s “amicable” generally means that one of you is getting shafted. Please don’t let that be you.

Oh, you said your pension was (is?) worth more.

Op unlikely to get 90% of house and large share of pension as hers is currently larger . I appreciate it will take a hit with but pension sharing will likely see offset to equity in some form

how much equity is there vs pensions? And what do you each earn ( what will your pt income be including and uc, pip/dla, cb , cms etc) how old are the children now?

a judge will prioritise their housing

Kids aged 10 and 8. We get dla.ab9ut 200k equity. No idea on what my penshon will be when I cut my hours. They say they can't do the new figures until I go part time..I camt go part time yet as I wont get the mortgage...ive done the somes and will afford it part time but was told by broker to apply using my full time wage if that makes sense.

I guess you've got to do what you've got to do, but I think you're verging into mortgage fraud.

It isn't...I'll tell them when it goes through that my situation has changed..I'll still be able to cover it. I havnt lied. I am still full time while applying for it and will be for a while yet.

If your kids have an ehcp then you can apply for school transport and/ or travel training. Not perfect but might enable you to increase your working hours a bit.

The transport does magically disappear between 16 and 18 though at the moment but the charity contact a family are trying to sort that out
https://contact.org.uk/

I have worked in mortgage underwriting and often had to ask, if you are expecting your financial circumstances to change before agreeing to the mortgage. If you advise no, knowing full well it is, then that would be considered fraud and may result in a CIFAS marker on your credit report.

Im still waiting for a needs assessment. I applied last may!

Ok thanks. I will tell my broker today and update them. Thanks.

If DC attend the nearest suitable qualifying school, have you looked at school transport? An EHCP isn’t required.

Do you mean you requested EHCNAs last May? If so, are you still waiting because you have had to appeal? If you haven’t had to appeal, the LA is well over the timescales - have you sent IPSEA’s model letter to the LA?

Yes they've acknowledged they are well over timescales for the needs assessment. Ive been chasing them and been told that there are 300 before my child..then 400, then 500 so good knows. I had to appeal their decision to do a needs assessment whcih they've now agreed to so I dont imagine a echp will be done in the next year. It isn't kist getting them there.. its getting them into a car..them getting out and trusting that they'll go to school...
Even the education ombudsman got involved and said..yes they've brokeb the law but there is a shortage if educational psychologists so nothing we can do but wait.

The LGO isn’t a suitable remedy in this situation. Instead, go down the judicial review route. Email the Director of Children’s Services threatening JR if they don’t move things along swiftly. If that doesn’t work, you need a pre-action letter. SOSSEN can help with this but there is a waiting list so you might want to look elsewhere. If a pre-action letter fails, JR proceedings will resolve the situation. As LAs have been shown, it is irrelevant that other DC are waiting and it is irrelevant there is a shortage of EPs. You absolutely do not have to just accept it and wait.

Whats the lgo?

The LGO (or more formally LGSCO) is the Local Government and Social Care Ombudsman. It is the ombudsman who deals with education matters.

Ahh I see.