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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Boring

4 replies

Joliv123 · 17/06/2025 14:02

my partner and I are in our mid 50s , when I met him 7 years ago he was separated from his wife and was living in nice rented accommodation , they have a house mortgage free and a business together . Amicable split and although nothing to do with me his family don’t include me in family gatherings . I am divorced and financially secure, I have a good job and earn an ok salary, when we met and throughout the years I would like to be in a relationship where marriage would be on the cards , he has always implied this would be the case, we bought a house together which is 50:50 owned , now we have been disagreeing on various things, and last night I mentioned I was unhappy he is still married and his response was ‘this is getting boring’ and that he couldn’t afford to get divorced and I said what if his wife instigated a divorce what then , his response that she wouldn’t get one , he also said the only person bothered about a divorce was me , I have brought this up as a point of difference which I am unhappy about previously but not been a nag about it feel really deceived and we are at the point of separating , I am torn as what to do as lately his disregard of my feelings in an attempt to appease others has really driven a wedge in our relationship

OP posts:
MidlifeWondering · 17/06/2025 14:09

I’m sorry, but I would not have bought a property with someone who isn’t divorced, too complicated.
It sounds like he’s ignoring your (valid) reasons and concerns.
If he won’t change his tune, I’d say the relationship with him is over.

Arlanymor · 17/06/2025 14:11

MidlifeWondering · 17/06/2025 14:09

I’m sorry, but I would not have bought a property with someone who isn’t divorced, too complicated.
It sounds like he’s ignoring your (valid) reasons and concerns.
If he won’t change his tune, I’d say the relationship with him is over.

Same to be fair, particularly after seven years. This is too fraught with complexity. You are on a shaky footing, apart from what you have put into the shared house. I don't think implied marriage is enough - you need the ring before you sign the deeds - not being mercenary but this is what happens if not.

Joliv123 · 17/06/2025 14:14

I do regret buying the place with him and this is one of my concerns about if in the future anything where to happen to him as he is still married I would be in a difficult position , at the time he was saying he wanted to wait 5 years for the divorce so I wrongly assumed when that time came he would make good what he had previously said , he thinks it’s fine for him to be married and live with me , in his words it’s only a piece of paper , but I have said it really isn’t in the eyes of the law , I agree I think I am getting out of this , thank you for replying

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 17/06/2025 14:16

Sort your wills out cos as it stands she is next of kin if a thing happens you could lose half your house

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