How long should I wait for husband to start meditation?

[SewingBees]

I separated from my husband in November last year. Both agree we need to divorce. He suggested mediation and a specific mediator, both did MIAMs early in the new year.

I submitted my financial info by the end of January but my husband still hasn't done his, despite the mediator chasing and threatening to close our file. He's a terrible procrastinator but also I suspect is enjoying a certain amount of control. I'm very frustrated - I need to move because the house isn't suitable for me (disability) - and I want an agreed schedule for care of our daughter - she needs the certainty of a routine. At the moment it's all ad hoc requiring lots of communication between husband which I hate because he takes ages to get back to me and uses the contact as a way to have a go at me. I have said I will only discuss a custody agreement in a mediated setting because of his anger issues.

What do I do? Wait it out or start legal proceedings? I don't want to go the legal route because of the cost, the aggressiveness (after agreeing to mediation) and I'm not sure it would be any quicker, but I don't see any choice.

Ask the mediator how long he will wait for the paperwork before pulling the plug and work from that. That way it's someone else who has decided the legal route rather than you.

Re your DD
I'm not sure from your post whether your DD lives with you and your ex is messing you around for access or she lives between the 2 of you so what I'm about to say may not be relevant.

I would suggest you plan your week / month with your DD assuming your ex will not want to see her. Then you know where your are. Yes - it means everything is on you, but you will be in control and know what's what. Then when / if he contacts requesting access you can decide if your DD is free that day. You can say yes every time he asks, but you will have taken back control and not be waiting on him to contact. Never chase him and if he no-shows just continue on as normal.
As for pickups and drop-offs - the standard advice seems to be either ask someone else to do them or at least be present, or meet in a public place.

I would assume the best route would be the legal one - yes it's a pain and expense but again it's someone else making the final decision - not you, so less opportunity for your ex to be arsy.

Thank you, I have just asked the mediator and she says I can start the court process at any time, she will provide evidence that he hasn't provided the requested information. The court will then dictate a timetable that he must comply with, and we can still agree everything through mediation if we can.

Can anyone advise on what sort of timetable the court would set?