Practical tips

[Captainofmyship]

I have name changed. Recently separated after 23 year relationship. Married 13 years but co-habitation since 2002 continuously. Three children 17, 14, 9. SAHM that does not work. Should I get a job or not? I have seen conflicting information re this perhaps working against me in divorce. Currently getting a small home based business up and running- lots of study over last year. Also husband has final salary pension and due to retire in 4 years. My preference would be a pension share I.e a percentage of his monthly take home pension and not lump sum or extra in house. This is due to me having zero pension. Finally how do I ensure I don’t cry when discussing this stuff? How do I support the children? He has a difficult shift pattern so I will still be primary parent including during school holidays etc.

You need legal advice on how the assets should be split. I’m not sure (from a legal POV) the difference between the time you spent cohabiting and the time you were actually married. That will make a difference. Also how are you splitting the childcare?
All of this needs discussing and agreeing maybe through mediation.
Good luck

Hi...

I'm not offering advice on practicalities as such, what I do say is do not neglect your own wellbeing in order to get through this topsy turvy process. Anticipate many emotions in succession. You will get through. You will grow as a person, but you might not be aware of this at the time.

Definitely seek legal advice.

All the best.

You do need legal advice.

ultimately you’re going to need to work to support yourself and your settlement will take into consideration your earning potential and income. With the ages of your children a court will deem you can work full time.

it will also take into account your ages - is you husband older if he’s near pension drawing or is he doing that early