I have nowhere to go

[Lorelai123]

So I’ve posted here a couple of times for separation advice as I don’t want to be in my relationship anymore. I finally plucked up the courage to speak to my mum about how I’ve been feeling and she asked me “where will you go?” So that speaks loudly to me that I can’t go back to my parents which leaves me stuck. We rent our house from HIS family so naturally I would be the one to leave. I think it would end up being rented out elsewhere since he couldn’t afford to live here alone. I am so down and lonely knowing I am basically stuck here. I can’t afford to save for a deposit whilst I live here, am I really stuck here so incredibly unhappy??? 😔😔

Why can’t you go to your parents?

Have you tried spare room.com? I'd put my stuff in storage and rent a room until I had enough for my own place.

Did you ask your mum if you could stay?

go to your local housing association. you may go to a bed and breakfast, but at least you would be able to leave.
You do not mention any type of abuse, but it would be worth trying Women's Aid.

Sorry for your predicament OP. Why have you not considered asking your parents whether you can move back home in the short term and save some money for a rental deposit.

I would be more direct with your mum, ask her if you can move back in with her. Tell her you will be saving for a deposit to move on from hers so it won’t be forever.

Thanks for all your quick replies. It’s not an option to rent a room or hotel I have 2 little children and one has additional needs. I just took her saying “where will you go” as her not even considering that I could go back home.
maybe they don’t want me and the kids there since it would be such a disruption to them

I guess if you're really stuck, you'll have to ask them directly. Do some number crunching first so you can give them an idea of how long for.

You say, “I don’t know mum, I was hoping we could come and stay with you temporarily until I get a place of my own?”

I presume you’re not married

are you working full time?
Have you thought about child arrangements? Will he want ( and can do 50:50 shared care)
if not, what would child maintenance be a month?
have you looked at private rentals ? And universal credit ( depending on your salary ) are you entitled to anything?
ate you claiming child benefit?
and tax credits /childcare reductions if you are working /need to return ?
are you claiming and pip/dla if a child has needs? Are they entitled to anything support ?

there are lots of things to do op rather than resign yourself to being stuck.

and yes, you may need to say to your parents I’d really like some support and was hoping I could stay for 6 months ( or whatever) while I sort myself out and get on my feet

Have you tried your local council housing department? They sometimes provide money for a deposit. Shelter have a searchable database of places that take benefits. Turn2us might be able to provide advice on funds or grants considering you have a child with a disability. Gingerbread might have some advice as might citizens advice.

No we’re not married. I work part time 2 long days a week (he takes our older son those days for school runs and getting him fed and showered etc) we claim universal credit and our son gets high rate DLA (care and mobility) I also get child benefit for my boys

I didn’t know this, i don’t really know anything about this type of thing.

Op if you have a child on high rate dla and you’re taking him with you and you work part time you will get help with housing costs. You need advice pronto. You may find you’ll be better off than you think

So what does a single uc look like for you? Plus cms ?
are you able to work
additional hours or not depending on your child with additional needs?
Will you be able to afford to rent privately?

If you have children and taking them with you, surely you would be prioritised for social housing, or rent paid through a private landlord?
Hope you can arrange something soon.

OP you need benefits advice. If you are separating from your partner you may be able to present as homeless to your local council. I suggest you get in contact with your local Citizens Advice ASAP.

So you would be expected to go into private rented and (there will be a delay) get UC. It’s actually quite generous for a child with high DLA as there are extra UC carer and disabled child elements on top of DLA. If you don’t have Savings for a rent deposit then social services or housing may help as they have a duty to make sure children are housed. Use an online benefits calculator. Disabled child charities like Contact also have advice. You may also get child maintenance which doesn’t affect benefits. Look at council local offer page for disabled children as there will be a family support or early help service / social worker who can help you understand the system.

I can’t see any mother turning their back or their daughter and grandkids. Maybe just ask her directly. You’d be surprised. All the best

This. Hope it works out for you