Me and my husband split in March, he initiated it. He said we’d grown apart and he wasn’t happy, he said I’d changed and I’m sober now and we have less in common, didn’t like that we aren’t intimate etc. He’s stayed living here whilst we go through divorce, tried to squeeze me for half when I learn less and he pays nothing towards the kids. Basically been an entitled narcissist jerk, staying in the bedroom whilst at the same time sleeping with other women.
Yesterday I found out from a stranger that he’s been having an affair since December. I feel like such an idiot. I’ve told him to leave, thankfully he has. I suspected he was seeing this woman now but didn’t suspect the affair. He told both our kids he wasn’t seeing anyone. However in recent months this woman has been there every time he’s taken the kids out and they’ve come home and told me he’s been all over her, feeding each other flirting cuddling.
When we found out he phoned my daughter to explain. He did confess and said he’d been a coward. But also told her she made mistakes last year that he forgave and he therefore hopes she will forgive him for this. He’s said the reason he had the affair is that he and I had drifted apart and my daughter’s behaviour last year was really tough (she went off the rails basically). She now feels like shit because he’s brought up stuff from the past and says she now feels she has “no right” to be angry with him.
Oh and hes asked her to pass a message over to me to say he won’t be leaving his keys when he collects his stuff because he still legally owns half the house. Yet I am contactable by email and phone, there’s no need to use her to pass messages and nor should she. Words can’t describe how I feel right now.
He wanted 50/50 custody, which I think is purely due to his ego and to avoid paying child support. He works away a lot so I don’t think it’s very practical. I’m not sure what the kids will want to do now - they’re 15 and 13 so it’s their decision ultimately. I’ve just sent a claim off to CSA in case it’s needed in the future.
thank you if you’ve got this far. I’m disgusted, shocked and appalled at his behaviour and total lack of regard for his kids and for my feelings