Divorce with children over 18

[Alwayssupportingdifference]

Hi am looking to learn from people with experiences of divorcing and splitting assets when children 18 at uni.

I would like the house and him keep the pensions but it would mean a 60% split to me and 40% to him. Would this be possible to argue if i look after the children?

For further info, he is huge wage earner, i have just returned to work. Supported him through mental health challenges for last twenty years so taken step back myself. I’m not sure any of this is relevant in today’s era of divorce.

I have solicitor who is looking into things - a very good one. But looking forward experiences here.

Assets about £1.4 million, house worth 850.
not that this will matter but he will get inheritance in future, I won’t. Feels unfair to go 50/50 as he now has huge earning potential and pension potential, ability to raise mortgage etc. I am steering my career all over again age 50.

Oh and he’s also been a poor husband and I’ve struggled with a lot of emotional abuse but stayed with him to support his mental health. He lined up his ex girlfriend a year ago and turns out been seeing her for this time and they are running off into sunset together.

I know a lot of this totally irrelevant when it comes to divorce but feels v unfair!

You won’t get more because you have adult children at uni and need to house them/theyll be disregarded for that.

you’ll have to argue based on long marriage, lower earning ability etc. there is enough to go round here. If you took 60% of equity what mortgage could you get ? What house would that give you ? Not saying that’s what you’ll get just start thinking in those terms because his solicitor will argue on that basis

it’s very unlikely that you’d get all the liquid assets while he gets the most risky non liquid assets ( ie pension) unless he actually agrees to that . Where would he live? He needs cash to house himself too. The pension is not valued the same as equity either so 850 equity might equate to 500k pension in terms of valuation ( you’ll need an exact one but it’s not £1-£1 compare)

whats his earnings? That will make the difference here

After this long, you are both entitled to equal retirement. Looking after children isn’t relevant any more. So, yes, if your earning potential now till retirement is less than his because of choices you both made for the last few decades, then clearly you will get more than 50/50 asset split. No need to stamp your feet and rant about unfairness as you did in your op, the law obviously considers future income disparity.

And yes most of it is not relevant to the financial settlement

what is:

ages of both parties
both parties earnings
assets available
needs of both ( predominantly housing)

The pension is not valued the same as equity either so 850 equity might equate to 500k pension in terms of valuation ( you’ll need an exact one but it’s not £1-£1

this is interesting @millymollymoomoo - does that mean 1 pound of (presumably TV) pension is worth more than 1 pound of equity?

@arethereanyleftatall no less

due to the activists not accessible no but in the future
that stock market valuations fluctuate and are not guaranteed
that tax rules can change
that pensions rules can and do change - eh lifetime allowance, tax free amounts etc etc

all which make them values less generally.

this is regarding defined contribution pensions not defined benefit or final salary schemes

Eg you might have a pension pot of 500k. But because you can’t access it for 20 years and due to the above for the purpose of divorce there will be a net present value associated to it which might value it at say 400k for compare to liquid assets. Obviously illustration only !

So my brain isn’t switched on yet, I absolutely get that a pension pound would be less than a real pound due to the reasons you’ve detailed. But wouldn’t that then make your first post numbers the other way round? So 500 equity would equal 850 pension? Not 850 equity equally 500 pension?

Yes you are correct! It’s still early 🤦🏻‍♀️

in simple terms if equity is 850 and pension pot is 550 based on op numbers then what im
saying is that pension might actually be discounted to a present value of say 400 or 450 or some other valuation so you cant just take the 850 equity pot and compare it to the 550k pension pot. So in op case her say that would be 60:40 split to her isn’t necessarily correct it could be more like 65:35 or 70:30 or some other %

the main thing is to take proper legal advice, ensure proper valuations and then think about needs ( adult children ignored from this). Her ex also needs housing and it wouldn’t be right to say op can be mortgage free while op ex then had to take massive mortgage etc, a more balanced approached is to split both so they both get some equity and both get some pension.

her ex earnings will be a key factor is determining what is deemed ‘fair’

That makes sense, thank you @millymollymoomoo

Some really useful and helpful information here thank you.

For pension valuation age of person matters a lot. IF you have £500k in a DC pension at age 40, you cannot access for 17 years and value is unknown. At age 60 you could take the whole lot but minus income TAX, though, which would seriously cut the value unlike selling a house.