Child Maintenance scope

[FallenFigs]

I know this has been done to death but…

can anyone point me in the direction of definitive wording on what CMS covers? We have a 60/40 split so CMS pro rata’d accordingly. My understanding is that STBXH is responsible for ‘essentials’ whilst they are with him (hence the pro-rata of CMS).

He is stating ‘essentials’ extends to food only and that I am to provide all clothing and other essential equipment. I don’t agree and believe he should provide essentials for his time, including clothing. My pragmatic solution is therefore that we both contribute to clothing rather than two sets. He is adamant it’s food only.

I need some form of ‘formal’ direction on what it covers. He does accept that CMS doesn’t extend to extra curricular stuff (school trips etc) and is expecting to split those.

he earns way more than me and will soon be mortgage free. He will have considerably more disposable income. He is opposing this just to be difficult, not because he cannot afford it. It is a sorry state of affairs.

you won’t find anything like that and actually you’re ‘wrong’. All he legally has to pay is cms. Anything else is a choice.

if he doesn’t want to cover anything else or provide anything else there is simply nothing you can do - other than not send clothes with the kids or not pay for stuff they need - but then you’re only hurting /impacting them

My ex was exactly the same....insisted I had to provide everything for the children while in his care 🙄 I did used to send a school uniform for Monday morning but nothing else.
There isn't any guidance unfortunately but if he will only give CMS you cannot make him do more.
Send them only in the (old) clothes they are standing in.....and he will have to sort out clothes to change into.

It is really hard but there is no list... and technically ex is not wrong as all he legally has to pay is CMS.
I am actually court ordered to supply uniform to dad's house. But he is now court ordered to supply underwear... yep, that is how petty it got for me. And again, it wasn't about money.
You have two options, one is to pack a bag for the kids. In my case that didn't work, I tried and he would keep everything and send then back in clothes that didn't fit. So then I stopped. I now send them back in the same set of clothes everytime. Which i really don't like doing but it was financially not possible to continue. I do supply school uniform and for mine and the kid's sanity I send h
the hobby outfit As otherwise they wouldn't be allowed to go.
Sorry, my advice would be to choose your battle which in my experience is a cross between what the kid needs and not letting ex walk all over you.

I would merely ask him why he thinks whatever amount he sends you to cover 1 day a week amounts to half the clothing and essential items you purchase for the kids.

Shes not ‘wrong’. There may be nothing legally forcing him to put his hand in his pocket to provide for the kids when they’re with him, but neither is there anything legally forcing the op to buy and provide all clothing and equipment for when they’re at his house. I’d buy a cheap outfit and shoes for them to wear when dropping off, and provide absolutely nothing else. Only send them back in whatever they’ve been returned in

My friend had this issue and he'd keep sending her back with none of the clothes she was sent with and clothes that didnt fit.

in the end, she gave up and he returned her in the same outfit she arrived in - even if dirty my mate didnt care as she wasnt losing £££ every week on clothes.

Depending on the age of the child...i wouldn't shield them from it and let them complain to their dad / shine a light or his dickheadery.

Given the amount of money he has I'd send them in the clothes they have on only and ask they be returned in the same clothes. He can either wash them daily or provide his own.

You have to pick your battles... id probably fight this one and tell him to take me back to court if he wanted to force me to provide clothing for his child on his time.

If you cant face it get those cheap sets from Asda you can get 5 x tops and 5 x bottoms its about £20 give him 3 sets and keep 2 so you send her in 1 of them and get 1 back. If she isnt wearing one of the sets send her back in to change OR send her back to him in whatever outfit he returned her in

What an arsehole though...

Ok so I’ve done a little more digging. This has been summarised by AI but the sources are legit. He is the paying parent in this scenario.

What the Paying Parent Covers During Their Time
The key principle is this: When child maintenance is reduced due to shared care, it's because the paying parent is expected to cover the child's living costs during the time the child is with them.
The reduction in maintenance payments reflects the assumption that during overnight stays, the paying parent will be directly providing:

• Food and meals for the child during their stays
• Accommodation costs (utilities, heating, appropriate sleeping arrangements)
• Daily necessities like toiletries, clothing maintenance
• General living expenses that would normally be covered by maintenance payments

so my earlier logic applies. Now just to get him to listen/accept it.

@Danioyellow i put wrong in inverted commas because I don’t disagree with op but legally her ex only has to pay cms and nothing more. If he doesn’t agree there is nothing op can do about it! Other than not pay for things for the children and they go without

it doesn’t matter what AI says or what it’s supposed to cover he is obliged to pay the cms calculated rate and that’s it and if he won’t pay anything else than no amount of showing him stuff will change that