What to do next?

[Whattodonextplease]

My son's partner of 7 years suddenly said she wants to break up and moved out. No warning, he's devastated and not coping too well.

After 2 days apart she asked him to buy her out of their home and went to see a financial adviser. Not married, no children.

It's a shared equity home. Part on mortgage and part rented. It's less than 2 weeks and she's asking for him to send salary details etc to her financial advisor. She's arranged for an estate agent to value tomorrow. Then at weekend is going to work out value of contents and how much she wants.

It's a roller coaster and he's still in shock from the break up. They didn’t argue, no signs, that he's aware of.

Any advice please?

I'm attempting to support him emotionally 😔

You need 3 or 4 estate agent quotes, and he needs to speak to the agents and ask if the value is what it would sell for within say 6-8 weeks - ie a realistic not aspirational value.
Courts have huge backlogs and are very slow so there's no need to be rushed, even if she applied to court it would take months for anything to be resolved. There's nothing she can do to force this through quickly.
Absolutely no need to send any financial info it's for him to find out if he can borrow more.
She is still contractually liable for the joint debts and I wouldn't be letting her remove anything of value in case for eg it needs to be sold to pay off the furniture debt. Take photos / video of possessions.

Thank you everyone.

Telling him this and saying to slow things down and at the moment concentrate on processing end of relationship has helped a bit today.

He's asked for a citizen advice appt to chat about this.

Round here, shared ownership properties are like gold dust! Lots of people after them.

What a bitch she was probably already checked out so has processed her feelings do not be surprised if she’s with another bloke soon. I would suggest he tells her to hold her horses he hasn’t even had a chance to get his head around the split and she’s going have to wait for her money and is still liable to keep paying her half until it’s sorted out. Why is he letting her make all the decisions. He needs to think of his mental health first.

In most shared ownership properties, the leaseholder doesn't get a proportion of the profit made on the half that's being bought. I have owned two shared ownership properties and that's never been a consideration. There are, however, a few that do involve a profit-sharing arrangement.

My DD was in this position about three years ago. Her DP suddenly decided he wanted out of the relationship. Fortunately, she was in a position to buy him out of the house they owned and he accepted probably about £10k less than he could have claimed because he wanted the money as soon as possible. Had he wanted more, he would have had to wait a lot longer for his money as DD would have had to either find the money from somewhere, or the house would have had to have been sold.

I was mindful though that he could change his mind and decide he wanted more money (for furniture etc), so she sensibly engaged a solicitor, as did he, and a separation agreement was drawn up.

If your DS's ex-partner wants some money quickly, your DS might be able to use that to his advantage. Good luck!

I am sorry this is happening to your son.
citizens advice is a good idea. He can also access 30 minutes free with a lawyer which may help advise him also.
I’m not sure where you are but I’ve been told estate agents are ok but best to get a home appraisal survey done (cost around £400) as these give the true value. I recently had an estate agent value a family members house and then the survey came back £10,000 less as there were problems the estate agent couldn’t see (electrics / damp etc)

the deposit - you need to establish if it was a ‘gift’ for both of them or your sons money.
I think it is clearly your sons money but make taht clear.
she can’t rush this, everything takes time and it will be expensive with lawyers etc.

You are doing a great job being there for him.

She seems very pushy, trying to make him make a rash decision to suit her need to get money quickly out the property.

I suggest you tell your son to put the property on the market. If they are hard to sell, then it will take time and his ex will just have to wait it out. That’ll give an indication of its true value once offers start coming in. She can’t badger him if it doesn’t sell quickly, as it’s not his fault.

During that time, if he does want to buy her out and manages to get his finances sorted, then there’s nothing to stop him doing so and they just have to withdraw from the sale.
You have to make sure though that the agents don’t lock them into a minimum term of keeping it on the market but even if they do, sellers don’t have to accept offers and they can ride out any minimum contract period.
Your son should see his GP and maybe ask to be referred for counselling.

My only advice would be to not let him be rushed/pushed into quick decisions. He doesn't have to follow her timetable. He will need time to work out finances, as well as getting his head round what has happened.