Advice appreciated - considerations for leaving dp

[gardenershelp]

Been with dp 8yrs (unmarried). We have 2 small dc (both under 5) and I have an older dc from previous relationship. We live in social housing and are joint tenants. I’m a sahm, dp works.

I’m deeply unhappy and would like to split. Dp is emotionally abusive and I’ve just had enough. I want to try and prepare myself as much as I can before taking the final step. As I said, we are joint tenants and I don’t believe dp will leave willingly. Does anyone know where I stand in this regard at all please? I’m scared that I will be forced to live with him while split, I’m certain he’ll make it as hard as possible. And I just desperately want some peace in my own home :( thanks so much for any help

I’m very sorry and sad you are in a horrible situation with DP .
i don’t really have advice, but have you thought of women’s refuge or domestic abuse charities who maybe able to assist and give advice on what you can do. Also if your housing association has a website it might have advice or someone you can speak to ? As I understand these organisations/companies are now aware of domestic abuse and try to work with you .
please make a call and get the ball rolling .
i hope you get the help and support you need.

Hi Gardenershelp, I want you to know that you are not alone and there is help out there for you. I was in your exact position- joint social housing tenancy with my husband, two children and he was emotionally abusive, he could be very very nasty. My first step was to contact women’s aid. It took a long time to even pluck up the courage to look at their website! I went along to a drop in session and got myself a women’s aid support worker. After seeking advice I then declared myself unintentionally homeless with my local council due to domestic abuse. What I did was extreme but I felt like it was the only way out of my current situation. It was very discreet. I did panic that my husband would somehow find out what I had done. Eventually I was offered a place with my local council for myself and my children. It’s a lovely little place and I’m looking forward to beginning my new life. I applied for as much help as possible, any grants or assistance, anything that could help me be free. It wasn’t easy and it was a military operation to plan it all but so worth it to finally have a happy, safe home. Feel free to PM me.