2 weeks ago my husband told me he is leaving me. We’ve only been married for 8 months but together for 12 years. I don’t even know how to feel. It’s like I’m grieving. The future I thought we were building together has been taken away in a split second. He said he’s been feeling like this for a long time and has apparently been speaking to a therapist about it (but not to me).
We own a home together, have cats, a dog and a 1 year old child. I was aware things had been hard, our wee one is so active and takes a lot of my energy (not complaining - he is the best thing) but honestly I thought that was pretty normal.
All he has really said is that he doesn’t think of me ‘like that’ anymore. He claims he hasn’t met anyone else but for the last few months he has been trying to lose weight, has started dressing differently and has been spending a lot of time and money on his appearance. I didn’t think too much of it as it was happening but now I feel like a total idiot for not questioning anything before now.
Neither of us can afford our house by ourselves so we will need to sell it. He’s decided he is taking the dog and as I will be technically homeless I can’t even argue with him on that (I do have family I can stay with temporarily while I sort housing for myself and my son but can’t really bring animals into that situation).
I just feel so lost. I no longer know what my future will be. The life I thought I was building has totally changed. I didn’t picture being a single mum and though he has said he wants to be part of our sons life, he is hardly present as it is so I don’t know what that will look like either.
He told me he felt like this before I got pregnant (planned pregnancy, not a surprise). While I will never regret having my boy, I just don’t understand why he has allowed me to think we were building a family together if that’s not what he wanted.
I don’t really have anyone to speak to. My friends were all just the partners of his friends so I have lost them all too. My family are upset for me and it’s hard to talk to them without worrying them more.
I feel like he has made a massive decision about my life without any say from me and that’s making it hard to accept what’s happening. Dealing with the practicalities is keeping me going just now (looking after my son, contacting solicitors, packing belongings etc) but I know once all the main things have been dealt with I will be left with trying to rebuild my life and I can’t picture what that’s going to be like.
Just wondering if anyone has been through something similar and can tell me what life is like on the other side of this.