how to get over someone who wasn’t good for you!!!

[justtryingherbest]

here i am again, crying over someone who hurt me bloody loads

everytime we see each other i have the hope of us trying again, even though he has said he doesn’t want to…he said he hurt me too bad and i agree. but god do i feel shit

how how how do you coparent/see someone when you still love and miss them?

he hugged me goodbye tonight and i burst out crying.

head is a MESS

Stop seeing him and definitely stop hugging him.

I coparent but only communicate by email and I haven’t seen him in 9 months despite living in close proximity. My son is 12 so drop offs and pick ups can be done without me being involved in walking him to door etc. I still love him and he’s hurt me so very, very badly that I don’t want to ever see or speak to him again. I would minimise contact with him in whatever way you can, can you get someone to facilitate handing your children over if they are young? Switch to email instead of text/whatsapp so messages don’t take you by surprise or you’re waiting for a message.
It’s truly psychologically shattering I know, until you go through this you have no idea. Hang in the there, I can’t say it gets better as that’s not happened to me yet and I’m 18 months on (though full depth of deception only just been revealed), but people DO say it’s does get better. Keep hope.

Time. A breakup of a relationship is a very very painful loss but fortunately it is the particular kind of painful loss that does heal completely. I speak from experience and I know this is soul shattering right now. Take time and take care

Do you really ever properly heal though? I cannot see that ever happening and feel part of my heart will be forever broken and I’ll carry sadness forever partly for the loss of time with my son and that the last couple of years of his childhood have been turned upside down and I’ve been in a fig of depression. I’ve absolutely no desire to meet anyone else and as I’m approaching 50 I feel there’s no chance anyway.

You do heal. I too lost out on time with my dc due to divorce and very acrimonious post divorce coparenting. I’m very close to young adult dc now much closer than their dad. Make the most of the time you do have time with your son and make the most of time away by life/house admin, work, diy. So when you have dear son you can be focused. Time helps change your perspective. Some say the “good” (times/ moments/ memories) rises in your memories but I didn’t find that to be true for me. I do think the good memories can rise in your memories or in time you may feel the relationship wasn’t right for you or both of you.

I’m in a different time zone thus my delay in replying.

@Lavenderandbrown thank you for replying I hope one day I will feel that way, it just feels a long hard road at the moment.