What are my rights?!

[Lorelai123]

Please help!

if I was to end my relationship (not married) what are my rights when it comes to my 2 kids? My partner will not let me go with them without a fight. I want to be able to co parent fairly but he’s made it very clear that if I wanted to leave he wants them full time and I can “visit” which is ridiculous considering I’m their complete default parent. I’m not having this I’m not leaving without my kids but when I finally decide to leave they will be witness to a huge bust up this I’m sure of. I need to know what my rights are since we both have parental responsibility over them but I’m the only one willing to be fair and have them 50/50. I’m getting desperate, I want this relationship over!

The kids don’t need to witness anything, do it when they arnt around, or when he isn’t. What’s your housing situation, do you own or rent? Kicking him out would be better for the kids if possible

We rent from his family so I’m the one who will (happily) go and go back to my parents until I get a place. I don’t want to just disappear with the kids when he isn’t around though I just feel that it would be wrong as he loves them and is a good dad I just don’t want to be with him anymore

If he’s a good dad he won’t try and keep you from them. The kids still don’t need to be there when it happens, ask someone to watch them or tell him what’s happening while they’re at school. You are both entitled to 50/50 it can be a battle to get that through a court as it takes time and money so it’s better if it can be amicable. Try not to let it get into such a fight, make sure you have everything you need (documents, passports etc), make sure the kids are elsewhere, and try and be calm and factual about it. You can’t control how he reacts but if you can stay calm and not react back it could help stop the custody row escalating. Are you happy for 50/50 with him or will you make him go through court?

I’m plucking up the courage to speak to my mum about it at least then I have someone ready to be on my side if needed and also love the kids away if things get tense, every time I go to phone her I just chicken out I don’t know why. Once I’ve said the words to her I can’t go back and it’s completely upheaving our lives and it’s a scary thought (but one I’m actually getting desperate for)
I’m more than happy to keep it out of court and do 50/50.

A Child Arrangement Order is the legal document that you might want to get hold of. You don’t need a solicitor to represent you and the boat is about £230 plus a mediation session. If you can evidence his abuse then you might be able to skip the mediation stage.
This would spell out the exact days and times you each have the kids with specific instructions for holidays, birthdays etc
When it comes to contact I’d start with each parent having alternate weekends so that they can relax with the kids while not at work/school and they can both enable the kids to see their side of the family. Each parent pays childcare for their days