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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Separation and trying to figure it all out

6 replies

OneNavySheep · 30/05/2025 20:26

My almost 15 year relationship with my husband has recently come to an end. It's all still really fresh so trying to make sense of what happens next.

We have one child together, our daughter who is 7 and we have decided that we would only tell her about this once one of us can move out. Until then we are living together in our house that we have a mortgage on.

We have had talks about who is going to move out and who is going to stay. Our mortgage at the current rate is roughly £700 a month and our fixed price mortage rate is going to end next year in September.

I would not be able to afford this alone plus the other costs that come with living in the house. He earns £15k more than me annually.

I earn £31k salary and year and have been checking on the benefits calculator that if I was to rent i would be able to claim universal credit as a single parent, I would get the local housing allowance towards the rent payments and help with childcare costs. We are splitting our daughters time between us 50/50.

We are going to sell the house eventually and my ex husband is going to carry on living in the house until we sell it. Once we get our money from the sale we are then going to buy our own places.

Has anyone else gone down this root before and has it worked out OK for you? Is there anything else we need to consider? We are trying to sort this out amicably and just want to make sure we are making the right choices for us and our daughter.

OP posts:
Tiredofwhataboutery · 30/05/2025 20:30

There are some rules about claiming UC if you own a house you aren’t living in. I’d check the exemptions but it might be your ex would need to buy you out.

Tiredofwhataboutery · 30/05/2025 20:39

I did have a look and they will ignore it for six months and then six further months if it’s up for sale.

It’s a tricky one because despite being 50/50 one of you has to be the residential parent for UC purposes ( the one in receipt of child benefit) I assume this needs to be you so you can claim housingnelement of UC but then he’s not living there as a single parent so they don’t disregard the property.

Mrsttcno1 · 30/05/2025 21:01

Tiredofwhataboutery · 30/05/2025 20:39

I did have a look and they will ignore it for six months and then six further months if it’s up for sale.

It’s a tricky one because despite being 50/50 one of you has to be the residential parent for UC purposes ( the one in receipt of child benefit) I assume this needs to be you so you can claim housingnelement of UC but then he’s not living there as a single parent so they don’t disregard the property.

Yeah exactly this.

You’re going to struggle to wait for “eventually” to sell the house/be bought out if you expect UC to help top up your wage & rent.

Rainbow988 · 30/05/2025 21:05

OneNavySheep · 30/05/2025 20:26

My almost 15 year relationship with my husband has recently come to an end. It's all still really fresh so trying to make sense of what happens next.

We have one child together, our daughter who is 7 and we have decided that we would only tell her about this once one of us can move out. Until then we are living together in our house that we have a mortgage on.

We have had talks about who is going to move out and who is going to stay. Our mortgage at the current rate is roughly £700 a month and our fixed price mortage rate is going to end next year in September.

I would not be able to afford this alone plus the other costs that come with living in the house. He earns £15k more than me annually.

I earn £31k salary and year and have been checking on the benefits calculator that if I was to rent i would be able to claim universal credit as a single parent, I would get the local housing allowance towards the rent payments and help with childcare costs. We are splitting our daughters time between us 50/50.

We are going to sell the house eventually and my ex husband is going to carry on living in the house until we sell it. Once we get our money from the sale we are then going to buy our own places.

Has anyone else gone down this root before and has it worked out OK for you? Is there anything else we need to consider? We are trying to sort this out amicably and just want to make sure we are making the right choices for us and our daughter.

Hi I have pm you

Original poster
OneNavySheep · 31/05/2025 06:47

Tiredofwhataboutery · 30/05/2025 20:39

I did have a look and they will ignore it for six months and then six further months if it’s up for sale.

It’s a tricky one because despite being 50/50 one of you has to be the residential parent for UC purposes ( the one in receipt of child benefit) I assume this needs to be you so you can claim housingnelement of UC but then he’s not living there as a single parent so they don’t disregard the property.

Thank you for highlighting this I had not realised this before. Yes we are putting the house up for sale as soon as one of us moves out so we would be proving straight away that we are actively selling.

OP posts:
Runningmom1512 · 10/06/2025 20:42

I'm in a similar-ish position to you, our house has just sold though, I will be renting, ex will buy. I won't buy as I would not get UC. I'm on £26,500 per annum. I have a spreadsheet with all my expenses, wages, UC and child maintenance and will be ok. (I,think, I hope) I am scared I won't lie. But it can be done looking at the figures.
My equity I'm looking at putting some into my pension, setting up a trust for my son, you can have upto 6k in savings before UC is affected.

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