Will it ever get easier......

[Newbegg]

I just have no one that understands or can relate....we have been separated for 15 months, my choice for low key emotional abuse and no intimacy, on my part, as not feeling a connection, that's a very basic detail....anyhow ex h has been living with family and now got his own place and it's hit me like a brick, I was dreaming about us and cried in my sleep and over the weekend wake up and start to cry with a heavy feeling in my chest. I am all over the place with the realisation that we are truly over....i don't know where this is coming from or how to keep pushing the emotions down. We have barely spoke the last 15 months but I get the odd text, with how much he misses and loves me, oh and plenty nasty ones also. I feel like I want to reach out to him, I don't even know why....I'm so confused and really hating this situation....don't even know why I'm writing this, just to have someone understand I suppose. Sorry rant over!!!

I’m about 9 months behind you - it’s a real downer isn’t it. Chin up though you’ll get through this rut and things will get better and more fun. Have you got events/activities booked to keep you socialising and looking forwards? X

@Festivfrenzy I started a class but haven't been in months, money is tight doing it all financially. Thank you for reaching out it just gets so lonely, here's hoping there will be a day when I realise I done the right thing, 100%

I get the self-doubt, but you left the relationship for a reason. Have you made a list of all the reasons you were unhappy? Not just big things like 'lack of connection' but the details like 'the time I needed emotional support when the dog was sick and he let me cry alone' (random example but you get the idea). I find it helpful to remind myself of the day-to-day reality, when my mind starts to worry that I've made a mistake because it 'wasn't that bad'.

Also don’t forget the daily wear and tear - those nasty comments that grind you down, or sulky sullen moods that just suck the positivity out of the house. I get the sadness, but you were sad before too don’t forget. At least now you have the space to create your own happy life - you’ll get there! Are you feeling any better lately?