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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

What to tell my 10 year old?

3 replies

Separatedbutlivingtogether · 26/05/2025 01:19

We have been separated but living together in the family home for 2 years. My husband sleeps in what used to be our bedroom and I sleep either in the spare room or with my daughter. All my clothes are still in our room as is my dressing table with all my make-up and jewellery.
My husband and I often slept apart before the separation and he was very rarely affectionate and tactile with me. So there hasn't been a noticeable change in our relationship from my daughter's perspective. We have not told her we are separated, and we are both committed to keeping the family unit intact and stable for her.
My mother bought a cottage nearby but lives abroad, so I can use it as I please. I have slept over there twice with my daughter and once on my own , and I'd much rather be at home. However my husband is pushing me to start off by spending a night a week there, and gradually increasing that with time.
My daughter got anxious, upset and angry when I told her I was staying at the cottage because workmen were coming early the next morning.
I need to find a reason that will reassure her and not make her question why I am away at the cottage.
Any ideas?

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 26/05/2025 01:55

Why don't you just tell you ex-partner that you don't want to do that? Don't let him force you out of your family home. He can go over and stay there if he wants to.

RusticChill · 26/05/2025 05:44

I wouldn’t try to hide the reality. She probably already knows anyway, but will be full of self-doubt if you try to hide it. Otherwise you’re trying to model what a healthy relationship looks like, which isn’t true.

Loveduppenguin · 26/05/2025 06:26

When are you planning on telling her the truth? Why don’t one of you actually movemm my out?

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