should i be asking ex to have his kids?!

[justtryingherbest]

long story short, he NEVER asks to have them. he has them once a week on a saturday whilst i work and also once a fortnight overnight (my son only as daughter is breastfed and he uses this as an excuse she’s 15 months)

he’s taking my son out tomorrow and i said it would be nice for our daughter to go too, he replied ‘maybe’

im holding a lot in in regards to him being absent and them not seeing him enough. he’s sees himself having them on a saturday as a favour to me as im at work. he said once he has a car then he’ll see them more. he’s had a car for 4 weeks now and i’m yet to see any additional effort

what would you do?!

my mum says its his loss and he’ll realise it when it’s too late. do i keep pushing him to see them when he quite clearly isn’t arsed/doesn’t want to be a parent?!

Just have both coats on ready to go.. And shove them at him and close the door....

This. At 15 months she will survive without BF for a few hours. She isn’t a newborn!

Yikes! Please don’t do this! You should never force a child to go with someone who doesn’t want them!

both of these responses are what’s going through my head! half of me is in the ‘i need a break why should he get days and days off and i don’t ever get a day?’ the other part of me is ‘they’re fucking amazing kids, if he doesn’t want them then his loss’

He's the df.. Hardly suggesting a random on a bus...

Is it worth being a bit... 'of COURSE you will WANT time with your kids' and acting as if the assumption is that he's desperate to have them as much as possible, to guilt him into realising he's going to look like a shit dad if he doesnt?
So going 'hey, can you have a think about what will work between us for the custody schedule going forward now you've got a car, I know you'll want the kids more, obviously it's tricky with X breastfeeding, but I'm sure we can figure something out between us as I know you want to make sure we split the time fairly so you get to care for them as much as possible. Have a think and let me know if you've got ideas as I've got some too'

(Understand this is tricky with them being so young, it's just to set your stall out early sort of thing)