He's lied and not applied for the CETV!! I feel like im being abused by a man I'm no longer with.

[whymewhyme]

Seperated 3yrs, sold house last August, took me 3 months for him to agree to mediate to agree finances so we can continue with the divorce.

we attended mediation early novemeber last year, he was told to do his cetv and he confirmed in December that he had done it. Fast forward to this week and I had an update from mediation and they told me he's only just applied for the 3 free month summery at the beginning of may! So he has made me wait 6 months for absolutely nothing! I'm so angry.

I honestly don't know what to do, medation said they can send me the court forms and sort it through the court and solictors but I'm feel so out of controle and overwhelmed about how much it's all going to cost, I don't have savings to pay, I already have a Credit card so it's daunting thinking of getting more into debt over it.

I feel like im being abused by a man I'm not longer with!

Not really posting for any reason other than I need to vent!

I woukd speak to Rights of Women of you don’t have any money as they give free legal advice

I had similar. It’s a common tactic used by abusive partners ( very often men) to cause as much turmoil as possible.

frustratingly, pensions take a long time. You will just have to sit it out.

id say that not reacting is the best way for this behaviour to stop. If he gets any sense you are desperate to move forward, he’ll do everything to slow it down. Grey rock him. Don’t get emotional at all. Keep everything factual.

make sure that any legal correspondence includes clear dates of when he expects to receive figures, timelines and confirms that he will get in touch as soon as it arrives. It can show a pattern of difficult behaviour to a court if this drags on.

who does he work for? Because some places are a lot quicker than 6 months.

also if he is public sector it will be a valuable pension.

the longer he leaves it, the higher the CETV so he is being an idiot.

It’s incredibly frustrating trying to divorce someone who will be obstructive at every step. If you don’t have funds for a solicitor you can self represent if you have to but if he’s said he’s now applied it’s probably just worth waiting for the issue of the cetv but I’d now ask for confirmation by way of the acknowledgment email or letter so you know he has actually done so. If he can’t produce that to the mediator then you might as well apply to court for them to order him to make the application. But as pp says you can see if Rights of Women could assist you if you do need to make an application to court.

Mediation have said they can not ask for proof of the cetv application. Honestly I'm so down today but I suspect this was part of the plan

So it doesn’t sound as though Mediation is working for you?

No, not really. The whole thing seems pointless. He's lieing and they can't ask for proof. I looks like court is the only option now bec they can make him prove it.

I just have no idea why he would want to hold the divorce up and not want his share of the house sale! Crazy!