Universal Credit - ex wants to make a claim for one child

[Anon1621]

Apologies for the long post to follows - I’m really hoping someone can help me. I’m currently going through a divorce - first part will be through in June. Just as I thought we were getting somewhere (after months of my STBEH being incredibly difficult), he sends me a message last night to say that he’s considering taking a lower paid job in the near future so that he can start to claim universal credit.

He left the family home in December & hasn’t paid the mortgage since. I’ve been claiming UC for DS1 (8) and DS2 (4) since February & have received 4 payments so far. I also receive child benefit for both boys and always have, even when we were together. I had to stop briefly due to my ex earning over the threshold (he’s always earned considerably more than me & still does at the moment). However, I restarted child benefit as soon as he left.

We’ve just come to a financial agreement which my solicitor is currently drawing up (I have a solicitor - he doesn’t), and I have a decision in principle ready to go so that I can take over the mortgage on the house. There’s so much more to this - I don’t even know where to start - but basically he’s already had £25k out of our house (2 years ago) & Im about to give him close to £21k to get rid of him. As I say, he earns a good salary & we currently share the boys 50/50… I firmly believe the only reason he does this is so that he doesn’t have to pay maintenance. His Mum does a large chunk of his childcare for him, so including school runs etc. I won’t be asking for anything else from him once the house is all in my name…. yet he now wants even more from me & wants to try & claim UC in the future for one of the boys.

He knows this will decrease my UC payment which in turn will make it incredibly difficult for me to afford the mortgage. He’s a very controlling person & it feels like another way of trying to keep some control over me. He feels like I’ve ‘won’ by keeping the house so wants to make life as difficult as possible. He won’t be happy until he’s broken me and / or put me in a position where I have no choice but to sell the house. Even though I’m desperately trying to keep it for the boys.

I asked my solicitor for advice & she said to see the Citizens Advice Bureau which I did today. They seem to think that as Im the one in receipt of child benefit, I’m currently the one who is entitled to the child element of the UC for both boys. They’ve told me to sit tight & wait to see if the child benefit office get in touch with me. At which point I will have to try & show that although we technically do 50/50, I am primary care giver.

Apologies for the long post - I just wanted to give as much background as possible. Has anyone else been in this situation and / or can give me advice about what to do? Thank you.

The child element of UC is independent of who claims CB. I claim CB for both my children but my ex claims UC for both. However who claims CB would be looked at as a deciding factor if your ex put in a claim for one of the children to UC.

Your ex could put in a claim for one of the children for CB and is likely to be awarded one as you have 50/50. This would make it more likely he would also be able to claim UC for one.

I’m not sure what you can do really if you have genuine 50/50. If it’s in name only then maybe get some evidence together of how you are primary carer?

Yes previous poster is correct. I would gather evidence, such as are you the contact for GP, dentist etc. Do you take them to all medical appts, then you can get the notes printed and it will say mim took them. School won't be able to offer anything in this situation. Any clubs the kids do are you the contact, do the direc4 debits come from your account? Wraparound care, form your account? Gather what you can. He might now bother, could all be a tactic. My ex said the exact same thing, very controlling, even said he would take the CB now despite earning too much so no one would get the money for one of our children.

Thanks for your replies.

Yes - I do all doctor and dentist appointments. He recently came to one appointment at the hospital dentist for DS1 but that was the first time ever (he’s now 8). I also cover dinner money each month for DS1 & I’m responsible for claiming the 30 free hours for DS2 (although he’s starting school in September). I’ve also paid for any after school clubs for DS1 & I pay into their savings accounts each month & always have (only I’m named on those accounts as well). I applied for DS2’s school place & the confirmation came to me. I don’t think he even knew that you had to apply for a place. He just assumes all of these things happen, as I’ve always sorted everything when it comes to the boys.

I’ve also paid for their last two haircuts & school shoes. He literally gives me nothing. The only thing he is responsible for is paying the monthly subs for DS1’s football team. He was paying one for DS2 as well, but I was approached a few months ago by the manager to say he was £50 in arrears with that & next thing I know, his football had been cancelled.

There’s been numerous times recently where I’ve had to have the boys for extra days / nights here & there, due to him supposedly being ill or some other emergency that’s cropped up. I’ve made a note of the dates just in case.

It could well be a tactic - and he could easily turn round in a few days & say he’s changed his mind - but I wouldn’t put it past him to do this. Everything he does is to spite me. I’m not sure he will ever stop.