Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Advice re divorce

23 replies

OneAmberShaker · 19/05/2025 19:00

Advice please

My partner can apply for conditional order 3rd July - going by most people’s timeframes up to 8 weeks then 6 weeks 1 day wait from receiving it. We are predicting he will get his final order around 11th Oct. No financials to sort. (No kids no joint assets etc)

Would it be safe time wise to book wedding for March/April 2026??

Final order I have heard comes through in a couple of days?

TIA

OP posts:
Sprogonthetyne · 19/05/2025 19:23

Personally I wouldn't book anything until the devorce is granted, you never know what hold-ups could happen. But more importantly, isn't it kind of fast to be getting married if he hasn't even had chance to end his previous marriage yet?

Original poster
OneAmberShaker · 19/05/2025 19:24

He has been separated for a few years - now making things final so he can move on

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 19/05/2025 21:51

He still needs a financial order. Do not overlook this !

Original poster
OneAmberShaker · 19/05/2025 22:11

He has taken advice from solicitor and both parties would not be entitled to claim anything after such a short marriage no kids no joint assets no family home together as they lived with his mum plus he has nothing in his name. So nothing to divide whatsoever plus Judge/courts put you back to pre marital status in such circs ie you both walk away with what you came into marriage with. Also she has more assets and money to lose if she was to claim but he wants not even a penny from her but thanks for advice.

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 19/05/2025 22:25

That’s not correct

if there is no clean break order she could come back at anytime even 20 years later and make a claim. Might not be successful but why on earth would you risk it. Just get the consent order

Original poster
OneAmberShaker · 19/05/2025 22:43

She won’t engage in anything and wishes to be left alone. Plus she lives abroad. It would cost him more money taking it to court to get clean break order so if she wants to claim in the future it’ll come at a cost to her as she will be the one who will have to initiate it pay the £300 court fee plus solicitors etc. On top of that filing form A you need MIAM so she would need to go through that etc too. She is lazy and not bothered about anything. Did not sign acknowledgment of service just because court papers said divorce will move forward without her so that’s what she said to carry on without her and not to contact her again. Thanks for the advice though appreciate it.

OP posts:
Elektra1 · 19/05/2025 22:47

The other posters are correct to say he should get a clean break order. You may well feel she won’t go after anything now. What if in 20 years’ time he’s become phenomenally successful. There have been recent court decisions where an ex-wife (it is usually the wife) has gone to court, or back to court, many years after the divorce because they didn’t get a financial order at the time, and these women have received generous financial provision through the court. Read this for an example: https://www.michelmores.com/family-insight/financial-proceedings-brought-25-years-after-divorce-offer-a-word-of-caution-to-separating-couples/

Financial proceedings brought 25 years after divorce offer a word of caution to separating couples

The recent case of HAT v LAT [2023] EWFC 162 is the latest reminder of the importance of obtaining a financial remedy order reflecting a couple's financial agreement on divorce, including a "clean break".

https://www.michelmores.com/family-insight/financial-proceedings-brought-25-years-after-divorce-offer-a-word-of-caution-to-separating-couples/

Original poster
OneAmberShaker · 19/05/2025 22:55

@Elektra1 thank you for those links we have read them already, he would love nothing more than a clean break but she won’t engage. He doesn’t have the money to take it to court at the moment, He was only technically living with her for 7 weeks before she decided she was homesick and done one back to her home county and told him to file for divorce if he wasn’t going to go with her. He was not going to leave his son and elderly mother here and explained his situation prior to marriage. In such a short stint of a marriage - they have no kids didn’t cohabit before no financials intermingled and no joint assets. She lived with her family before coming to the UK and still lives with them and works full time. They are both financially independent. So this is where we are at.

OP posts:
Elektra1 · 19/05/2025 23:24

He can get a clean break order whether or not she engages. And he can represent himself in doing so. Court fees are not much. The risk of her applying for and getting an order which would deprive him of yet to be accumulated wealth years down the line is something I wouldn’t want to live with.

Original poster
OneAmberShaker · 19/05/2025 23:30

@Elektra1how can this be achieved? Trust me when I say she will not participate in anything from the courts if he takes it to court she will not file no d81 or form E as it’s so intrusive. Don’t know how courts will issue a clean break without her consent or participation or engagement?

OP posts:
Elektra1 · 20/05/2025 08:24

OneAmberShaker · 19/05/2025 23:30

@Elektra1how can this be achieved? Trust me when I say she will not participate in anything from the courts if he takes it to court she will not file no d81 or form E as it’s so intrusive. Don’t know how courts will issue a clean break without her consent or participation or engagement?

If she doesn’t file the necessary forms, the court will make an order that she do so

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 20/05/2025 08:54

Still need a financial.order, otherwise one of them could make a claim against the other years later. Happened to my friend.

AnotherVice · 20/05/2025 09:49

If you marry him she could come after YOUR assets at any time in the future. Don’t be stupid OP.

millymollymoomoo · 20/05/2025 11:59

The fact she won’t engage is precisely why it’s needed! If there was zero chance of her never making a claim in future she would have no problem engaging and signing off clean break now

anyway, when you e worked hard, saved your pensions, got assets and children and she decides she wants some, remember you were warned !

Maynamechange · 20/05/2025 12:10

So your guy had a very short marriage of just weeks..... has no assets or money to take wife to court (or his own home by the sounds of it? ..... and you're trying to plan a wedding to this guy before the divorce and financial order is finalised??

Hope you are REALLY sure about this guy @OneAmberShaker

LemonLass · 20/05/2025 12:21

#oneambershaker
You have had some good advice here but bat it off?

You say: would cost him more money taking it to court to get clean break order (but worth it for a clean break, surely?)

You say: so if she wants to claim in the future it’ll come at a cost to her as she will be the one who will have to initiate it pay the £300 court fee plus solicitors etc. She (and he) don't NEED a solicitor. She/he can choose to have one. £300 is not a huge amount to come up with for either of you if determined.

In the UK there is free access to MIAM (up to £500 between both parties). Do that and get the papetwork to prove she wont engage. Dont assume.

You assume She is lazy and not bothered about anything. Has she told you this personally/directly?

Not signing/acknowleding papers doesnt mean that. Unless she said that in writing (text/email/letter) and you have a copy for MIAM service?

I would say save the £300, apply to court for clean break (without solicitor - apply direct ti court) and when all paperwork in (if you want to) consider booking/scheduling your marriage.

Good luck! x

Dotty87 · 20/05/2025 12:29

AnotherVice · 20/05/2025 09:49

If you marry him she could come after YOUR assets at any time in the future. Don’t be stupid OP.

This. It has happened, once you’re married she could come after both of your assets, any income you have, property you buy, inheritance you may get over the next 10, 20, 30 years.

why would you take the risk? Don’t marry him until you’ve seen proof he’s got a clean break.

Original poster
OneAmberShaker · 20/05/2025 15:02

All my stuff hidden don’t worry!

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 20/05/2025 18:39

Hidden how? Because once you’re married it’s not yours…. It’s a marital asset that would have to be deviated !

still, it’s your risk. You’ve clearly decided that it’s ok. So good luck !

see you back here in a few years with an outrage thread claiming shock and unjustness at your dh ex claims !

Dotty87 · 20/05/2025 19:29

OneAmberShaker · 20/05/2025 15:02

All my stuff hidden don’t worry!

Ok cool, so you don’t have or plan to have any savings, wages, pension etc in your name? How about any property you have now or in the future, whose name will that be in, because if it’s in either of your names she would have a claim on it.

I would be massively put off marrying this man purely due to his passive stance and failure to put your needs first. It’s £300 and a bit of time on his part, aren’t you and your future security worth that much effort?

Spirallingdownwards · 20/05/2025 19:47

OK- all your stuff is hidden as no doubt is your partner's which is why he doesn't want a clean break order because he is hiding his assets. Why are yours hidden?

They can literally jointly apply for a consent order for a clean break stating that it was a short marriage and neither party wish to claim against each other and briefly describe the assets. But I guess if he is hiding his assets he won't want to.

Elektra1 · 20/05/2025 22:47

OneAmberShaker · 20/05/2025 15:02

All my stuff hidden don’t worry!

On an application by her in 10 years’ time, you will be (if married to him or cohabiting with him then) required by the court to disclose all your assets. Failure to do so will put you in contempt of court, which is punishable with a custodial sentence.

It‘s unclear why you’ve started this thread, since you had obviously decided on your course of action before doing so. On your head be it.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page