30 weeks pregnant, thinking of leaving

[Lynxx]

Hi,

First time posting here, but I have been reading this forum since I was pregnant with my first child three years ago.

Currently pregnant with my second (30 weeks) and I feel at a breaking point with my partner. He is a good dad but he gets really verbally abusive when we argue. He has made me feel the ugliest, most miserable and pathetic human being. I do love him but I am just broken now.

I have a well paid job but nearly zero savings, childcare is so expensive, plus I will have to pay for double childcare soon. I'm not from the UK so my family isn't even here to help and have nowhere to go.

I just want someone to stir me in the right direction here...

I’m so sorry OP, he’s not a good dad if he is verbally abusing the mother of his children. Do you have any friends who could support you leaving?

I do. But I feel so embarrassed of the situation. I don't even want to tell my family. I feel really lonely and isolated right now

Why are you embarrassed? It's not your fault that he's treating you like this. That shame is his and his alone. And please don't say he's a good Dad. He really really isn't if he's treating the mother of his children like this. It's abuse.

Please talk to your family. Ask for help. I'd be heartbroken if my daughter was in this situation and didn't reach out.

Please don’t feel embarrassed OP, you have nothing to be ashamed of.

Speak to your family and friends, I would absolutely want to know so I could help if I was your friend or relative.

It is sadly really common for abusive men to ramp up their abuse during pregnancy & postpartum, they think they have you trapped. You don’t have to be trapped OP, please lean on your support system.

Good morning. So I have phoned Womens Aid to check what support is available for me in terms of housing and finances. I haven't accused.him of domestic violence or abuse, as I really REALLY just want to get out of this relationship, and perhaps starting to build a co-parenting relationship with him from a clean slate.

Well, they have told me their organisation only helps victims of domestic violence. I feel a bit disappointed? Who can I speak with to stir me in the right direction here? I could phone up a solicitor now, but I was looking for free advice to start with...

I’m not sure I understand OP, you said he was being abusive, verbal abuse is domestic abuse- that is why Women’s Aid were recommended to you.

If you just want to leave then speak to your family & friends for support, start getting your ducks in a row and consult a solicitor.

Hi OP
You should be able to get a free half hour consultation with a solicitor to start off with.

Don’t minimise the verbal abuse you’re experiencing to any agencies/support organisations. It must be pretty bad for you to consider leaving at 30 weeks pregnant.

Sorry you’re going through this, OP.

Why do you think you're not a victim of abuse?

Citizen's Advice for free legal advice.
Your op sounded like he was abusive but you would need to tell WA that for support.

Make sure your midwife knows the situation.