Help me make the numbers work

[confused6787]

Hello, hoping someone can help me make sense of what my options might be with an impending relationship split. It basically feels like I can’t afford any housing options in my area, and don’t want to move as DS is settled at school (year 1).

Here are the financials -
My income - £35k (full-time, perm contract)
Our house sale would leave me with approx £30k from deposit (no other savings)
No loans, debts, etc
One child (aged 6)
Would expect DP (unmarried) to want near enough 50/50 and would respect that
DP earns about the same as me

Housing options in the area (roughly)
A two bed house - min £300k
A two bed flat - min £210k
Two bed rental - approx £1000 pcm

So I can’t afford to buy, and can’t really afford to rent (after bills etc) without eating into the money from the house equity (and what happens when that runs out?)

Shared ownership houses are starting at around £150k for 50% which would work out best enough £1000pcm with the rent plus mortgage payment (I think).

I don’t think I could get any universal credit due to the money I’d have from the house sale…

What is the best option here? Am I missing something?! I just can’t figure out what I’m supposed to do!

Any advice appreciated - ta!

I don't think you'd be entitled to any financial help given your wage or savings. Look at the Turn2Us benefit calculator to check.
You say your DS is settled in school but he's only Yr1 so that's a whole lot of schooling ahead of him and he's young enough to start again.
In your situation, I'd look to move to a cheaper area where you could use your share of the equity for a deposit to buy rather than rent.
Sorry, I know it's shit OP, I've been there.

don’t want to move as DS is settled at school (year 1).

Sadly, I think you're going to have to, so you can move to a cheaper area.

Either that or rent and use your deposit money.

I know it’s not ideal, but I would move too… with those prices, I’m assuming you’re South East.
Your wage would get you a £160k mortgage plus your £30k deposit, so I’d be looking at areas where £190k gets you a 2 bed.
I’m in Berkshire and that would buy you nothing at all, but 45-50 mins further up the M4 and it buys you a 3 bed semi.
Your wage would be matchable elsewhere and kids in Yr 1 are very adaptable.

Housing Association?
If you can't buy freehold at least shared ownership means you wouldn't be subject to any issues with private renting. And you can staircase to a bigger share.

You also need to think about where DP will be living - if you're doing 50-50 you will both need to be near the school if at all possible.

I’m in the South East and had no option but to keep renting. I could afford a 2 bed flat now, but with only 1yr until my youngest of 3 goes to Uni, I am waiting and will be heading back north where my money will go a lot further.

Op can’t and shouldn’t just move without agreement from ex especially if there is near 50:50 child arrangements. They’ll need to figure out together logistics of housing. Having separated parents impacts a child’s life. Having parents who don’t live near each other even more so.

neither parties here are high income so it would appear renting is likely to be the way for both of them at least in short term. Look at whether your be able to top up benefits

I think in your shoes I’d move. I’d find somewhere cheaper that was nice and start afresh. Difficulty is with your ex here… however I would put up a fight because this is choice that will massively affect your financial future and I would not want my ex to have any say over that so I’d make it very clear you have to move for financial reasons, unless he's prepared to gift you a chunk of money to make staying put an option. Otherwise he might have to move aswell - if he’s in a similar position to you, how is he going to buy there either?? He’ll need similar space to you if he’s aiming for 50:50!

Want to add I definitely would not rent for more than a few months. It’s a stupid financial decision!

If you buy immediately, the money would go straight to the new place and so wouldn't hit your account, in this way you might get a little universal credit. You will get child benefit which helps a little, if OH is kind perhaps he could let you claim that all just to help a bit.
I've gone shared ownership option in a similar situation to you. Yes the houses are overpriced but it was the only way I had of not throwing my small amount of equity down the drain in rent and having a little security rather than being moved around in rental and a tiny bit of ongoing asset for the kids.
Best wishes with it all, hope you find a lovely place.

It sounds like it's either
(1) move, or
(2) rent - using your deposit money initially until it's depleted to the universal credit savings threshold, then claim UC, or
(3) agree with xP to do that nesting thing where dc stays in the bigger house/flat and you rotate with a small cheap flat.
But (3) sounds awful to me.

I know it seems like she's settled but honestly year 1 is nothing and probably a good time to move, she's soon settle into a new area. Can you discuss that with xP and work out what area might work?

Thanks everyone. I’m loathe to use the equity towards rent but moving would present a lot of problems too (DP being happy with that plan of course, but also my job, childcare (family help with school pick-ups) and being close to a network of support).

Maybe I need to think about making the relationship work instead of the numbers! A lot to think about. I could focus on upskilling and moving towards a higher salary but that’s not a quick fix… and unlikely that I’d jump significantly enough to make a huge difference.

Thanks everyone for the advice, I’ll keep thinking…

Where do you live?

Consider a 1 bedroom and sacrifice a reception room. All depends on the layout.

Does your DP know you are considering this?

And this is what happens when Govt's allow unfettered immigration and private equity funds funding house building who expect huge profits in the end for shareholders. Could you consider a shared house with another person in the same predicament?

Empty nesting sounds awful but it would be a lot less disruptive for the kids? Might be worth considering?