How to tell 5 year old

[Runningmom1512]

As the title says, how to tell a 5 year old mommy and daddy are separating, my husband and I have separated, still living together due to waiting to sell our house. We haven't told our son anything yet. We are sleeping in separate rooms but I just say daddy is snoring.

I was thinking as the house got taken a few months to sell and be finalised I didn't feel he needed to know anything yet, but I'm looking for advice for anyone going through/gone through something similar with a similar aged child for how you said it. I have been reading so many different articles about how to talk to him about it but I still don't really know. I think that will be hardest part, plus it's knowing how much they will actually understand. Obviously I want to explain mommy and daddy love him lots and lotsbut we will be living separately. (My ex already works away every week Tuesday to Thursday) So I'm hoping that will help with the transition. Any advice would greatly be appreciated. Thank you

As long as both you are, or at least appear, confident and positive about the change it should be OK. Explain what it will mean for him. Have you worked anything out about contact yet?

My then 5 year old and 19month old- I said- mummy and daddy don't fit together anymore, we haven't been getting along very well which isn't nice for us all. So rather than having one home where mummy and daddy aren't getting along, you are going to have two homes. You've done nothing wrong, mummy and daddy have made a choice that we think best suits our family.
I also regularly say there is nothing that you can do that will make me stop loving you, you're so easy to love, I'm very lucky to have you as my child, point out their particular traits which I love- because my eldest went through a phase of thinking I could stop loving him because I didn't love daddy anymore. I always used the word 'fit together' myself because I heard it from a child psychologist and it just seemed right for.me. But in my situation daddy tells the kids thjngs they shouldn't know- it's all mummy's fault.

I also bought this book when we told them and every now and then the kids bring them out and read them. So after I said the above we read these and then my eldest asked us questions.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Two-Homes-Filled-Love-Separation/dp/1649160569/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?crid=341X5FN0GYRIR&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.mcgQHZbA-MPVJomptg1u1z0P6JD0O1QSdRNkdn63dbbcVKt4All5moZLZUvXzqe-wKUlwETWACtPf4xfS2OxpkYtP-AkMMay7hIA-Ewo8SYVpH04ltRzYVGIJPeztHjghc36qN4_cUah8QfDnSi5o_j-hB8dg9BQ-VUMVZigm46Y-fWKIY4xfyezdGZ3gS-id67WnEeuscJ8OFJSaEkQ.7pkgKAsqYYrvSAQ6UdwMBDHkqK8gVW1FGoALemrVAPM&dib_tag=se&keywords=books+about+two+homes&qid=1747504123&sprefix=books+about+two+homes%2Caps%2C83&sr=8-1-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9zZWFyY2hfYXRm&psc=1
However, my personal warning is that their dad didn't do Christmas or my eldest's birthday.. don't get me started, so this book is hard for my two with the bit about two birthday cakes etc.

We also, without discussing our situation, talk about how families all look different, one mum, two dad's, etc. And different rules at different houses- your friend is allowed to play that game, but this house that isn't allowed (helped when coparent makes a different choice if you start that conversation asap it will be their norm by the time you live separately).

Wishing you luck, it isn't easy but be composed and positive about the changes, understanding of their feelings and reassure them it isn't their fault.

I could be doing this all wrong, but over a year on and my two understand why... we just have issues with my ex not being child.focused.

@BookArt55 thank you so much for your reply, really appreciate it. I have also saved the book on my Amazon.