Court for finances and child contact.

[Illbefinejustbloodyfine]

I will of course speak to my solicitor. But can anyone advise on what the process is ? Ex is not engaging, no coherent response to my solicitor, no solicitor of his own, not responded to mediation.

So...the next step is court, but I'm clueless about the process.

gave you filed for divorce?
have you had mediation?
have you made financial
disclosures and he’s not responding?
you don’t have to get a cao - what are you disagreed on there ?

I've had the conditional order for over the 12 months. I've had a MIAM, he was contacted by the mediation service but declined to take part. He is not responding to any requests for information, doesn't have a solicitor, and is being thoroughly obstructive.

Re child contact. He maintains (in the lengthy , numerous, abusive texts he sends) that I control when he sees the DC. He only sees them when it suits me blah blah blah. In reality, I have never stopped him from seeing them. He's chosen to see them one day a week. Je now has them for occasional overnights at my suggestion. He does no school drop offs or pick ups or sickness days. No school holidays. And one DC repeatedly doesn't want to go. I initially didn't feel it necessary to have a CAO, because I'm very flexible and reasonable about when he sees DC, I'm bloody fed up of the bullshit he spouts! I'd like him to have them more. He won't. I've suggested a variety of scenarios, he won't.

What are you hoping the cao will achieve? It doesn’t sound like it will make him any more reliable or consistent

you should file proceedings for fdr and get a court date if he won’t respond to requests for info or miam

Honestly, i dont know. He's the one suggesting it, because I'm so unreasonable/controlling etc about when he sees the dc (I'm not, at all). I don't know how it works tbh, if he says he wants them x,y,z and I agree.

Is he asking for regular scheduled contact time and you're not compromising and that's why he wants to go to court?

There's always 3 sides to the story, his, hers and the truth.

I'd just hand it over to your solicitor to deal with.

He doesn't ask for anything. He has them the one day he chose, and occasional overnight or weekend when I ask. I've literally never said no.

A cao won’t give him ad hoc when he chooses. It will say eow this time to that plus half holidays or whatever js agreed. It won’t say op has to agree to whatever time you want when you want

it will be a fixed schedule.
you just then have to make your child available- he doesn’t have to turn up and if he doesn’t there will be no sanction against st him ( and your child will feel
let down and upset )

@millymollymoomoo thank you, I know that, he has other ideas I think...

I feel your frustration! I’m in roughly the same position as you are now except I don’t have a conditional order. He has not replied to any legal letters, I’ve offered family mediation as well as standard mediation but although he verbally tells me he will go he then does nothing. We had a verbal agreement about the financials but when it came to signing he ignored again. It’s been 2 years and I’ve now sent out a letter saying that unless my Solicitor hears back from him I will be going to court to divorce on the grounds of Unreasonable Behaviour/ adultery (Scotland). I’ve down my absolute best to keep this between us but I’m now at the stage I’m done. My understanding is that I can send him another letter “without prejudice save as to costs” but I’m not going to. My solicitor will now apply to the courts for divorce and Financial Settlement. Sometimes the actual court papers gets them moving but I’m not holding out much hope. I wish you luck.

@phoenixrisingup thank you for the support. It's just so unnecessary to be in this position. I'm not a hateful or bitter person, I can hand on heart say I have not made any unreasonable demands, I havent used the children against him, I dont bad mouth him to them but to hear him, or rather read his messages, you'd think i was the devil incarnate. All I want is an end to this. Divorce finalised and a clean break with regard to finances

Good luck to you too.