What happens in this situation? Inheritance/assets question

[flockseat]

Can't really believe I'm asking this, but here goes. Please be gentle as I'm not in a good place at all and really struggling.

Been with my DH over 20 years. Teenage DC. The past few years have been pretty bad. Some of this has been down to various stressful challenges we've had to navigate - but the bottom line is, he has a horrible temper, doesn't treat me very well, and cannot seem to communicate like an adult. I've suggested counselling but he refuses. Any attempts to discuss anything result in a row.

At the start of our careers he was the higher earner, and I stupidly went freelance when the kids were young. My income remains unreliable and low, in an industry that is actually on the verge of collapse - masses of people like me all struggling to find work etc.

Part of the reason that we could 'afford' to go freelance in the first place is because my parents (very sadly) both died in a terrible accident over a decade ago, and I inherited a substantial amount of money. Enough to buy a house outright and have some savings left - that I wanted to save to help kids with house deposits/uni etc. When this inheritance came to us, DH was adamant that his own earnings would increase over time, and we would build upon what we had, together.

Trouble is, it hasn't played out that way. DH has walked out of jobs, been fired from another, incurred debt, and made promises that haven't materialised. He is working - but earning WAY less that he 'should' be for his age and level of experience. He's done this safe in the knowledge that we can dip into savings when the boiler breaks or whatever - and our prospects for later life don't look good. We will probably have to sell our house to fund retirement, and can't help our kids as I would have hoped to. I resent this, massively, and am thinking about the future...

I am sure many people might flame me for this, but when my parents died and the money came to us, a family friend advised that DH sign a very basic pre-nup that said this inheritance was mine. He did do this, happily, and while the vast majority of this money has now gone, the house is in my name.

Looking at the other thread where the high-earning/saving woman has been advised that all assets would be split 50/50, what would happen in my situation?

I am fully aware that pre-nups aren't always enforceable - and in my case, I don't even know if the document I have is actually legally binding...

If anyone has any advice on what the situation might be, I would love to know. Thanks.

@Mumof3confused makes a good point - have you had bereavement support? You lost your parents young and (having got a bit of distance from the thread and come back to it) I wonder if there’s something there about not being ‘looked after’ by DH which is really about the loss of the people who did look after you, your parents? It’s maybe worth exploring some of this further before you make an irrevocable decisions. Much love to you OP, you’ve had a hard road.

You should obviously talk to a lawyer.
But, unfortunately, i don’t think that agreement will protect most of the inheritance - as there see not enough assets to go around. So - the court would not enforce you coming out of divorce with mortgage free house, while exH is unable to house himself.
But of course, there are nuances, etc.

In your place - i’s try to move as much of the left over inheritance to your own pension and use ISA allowance to max - as this may protect at least some of it from 50/50 split.

Very much depends on the wording and whether your dh took independent legal advice (which it seems like he has) so itcould be fine. The issue is it says the inheritance money and not the house which could be the sticking point.

When I had mine drawn up (I am dhs 3rd wife, he is my 2nd husband) Was advised that i made sure that our prenup specifically covered the house and my savings

In your place - i’s try to move as much of the left over inheritance to your own pension and use ISA allowance to max - as this may protect at least some of it from 50/50 split.

This will only cause problems because OP’s husband won’t be happy when he finds out she’s moved the savings, and will have to be declared anyway as part of the divorce settlement.

Pre-nups are increasingly taken into account in cases like yours, but I think you’re still looking at him taking a hefty chunk of the house sale proceeds.

He may be unhappy and can try to argue for it, and for anything OP does.

But putting money into pension is not a sneaky move - not like setting a trust, for eg - which she could have done - and, with hindsight, should have done.

Pension money can be treated differently in divorce. And it may protect at least some of the inheritance. Or, maybe it won’t.
But it’s worth a try.