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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

mid 30s divorced and childless

1 reply

TidyUser · 15/05/2025 17:41

Hi all. Can someone please give me some advice. I am 34F and 2 weeks ago my husband of one year decided that he wanted a divorce. I am absolutely devastated by this as we only got our house 8 months ago. We were planning on having children and now my whole life feels like it is crumbling around me. This was my first ever relationship and I don't know how to cope with the overwhelming grief and fear that I feel. I don't know what to do. I feel distraught and I don't know how to cope or move on.
I really wanted to be a mother and loved being part of a couple and I feel like my dreams of being a wife and mother have been smashed into pieces. I have never liked the idea of online dating and since the relationship started my friends have moved to different cities so my social network is incredibly small. In so many ways my husband was my equal and my life partner and the loss is unbearable for me. I've tried to reconcile with my husband but he's not meeting with me and has not seen me for 3 weeks now. Is it normal to be playing the good parts of the relationship on repeat now - i feel terrified because I never thought he would do this to me and now he's left me and im on my own back with parents which i find embarrasing at this age.
Can anyone share their stories of starting over in the mid 30s as I am absolutely terrified of having lost my marriage but also the thought of never being a wife and mum again.

OP posts:
GreenFressia · 15/05/2025 18:13

Sorry to hear this. 34 is still young. Although you are looking for answers and certainty/hope right now, the answers are in dealing with the practicalities in front of you. You're in shock and absolutely your brain will be spinning and it will feel like that - freefall - for a while - but as you work through the practical stuff and start making decisions you will find your 'after'.

My only practical advice would be to position yourself around good social networks/community (even if you have to rebuild those). Regards to having a family I would also look at fertility testing (egg reserve) and that will help you with giving you transparency and a sense of control plus open up a decision on whether to freeze your eggs which may be a wise decision before the age of 35 to give yourself more time (although there are financial costs associated with this).

Definitely doesn't mean the end of hopes to have a family, get yourself lots of support and don't waste your time getting drawn into going over it all ❤️

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