Post separation abuse

[PinkGorilla]

My husband and I split up 3 months ago and he has treated me terribly emotionally. I now have a DA support worker to help me get through this. We're still cohabiting, but I am moving out in two weeks. We will be doing the 2-2-3 custody schedule, so I won't have to see him at all during term time. Has anyone found this has helped stop the emotional abuse? It's mainly making wild accusations about me in front of the kids, or to his friends and telling me everything is my fault (you will see a few months ago I started a thread about how it was all my fault, but now I'm becoming more aware). I'm hoping once I've moved out, we don't see each other and emotions have settled, he will stop making all these false allegations against me. Especially in front of the kids.

Stay strong! I am a good few years down the line from you but still suffer the post separation abuse. We also do the 2-2-3 schedule and yes it means less face to face contact but still need to be in communication for countless other usually school related things. My top tips are keep civil/factual, don't stoop to their level (don't badmouth other side), hold your head up high knowing you are doing right by your child and eventually the children seem to see things how they are for themselves anyway. Mine certainly has. Her father is pretty much oblivious to that fact though.

Google mumsinneed too, great organisation for this kind of thing.

I should add, try see everything you do through your child's eyes too. It is incredibly tough for them.

Oh no I definitely wouldn't bad mouth him to the children. One worry is, anything and everything I say to him he deems as me purposely trying to antagonise him. We were discussing our son's socks yesterday and he suddenly said, 'You're being inappropriate to be bringing this up in front of the children and you should stop now, it's called being a good parent.' I was really confused saying, we're just bickering about socks and he replied, 'That's not what this is about, you know exactly what this is about and it's inappropriate in front of the kids.' He was saying it all right next to our son and i couldn't quite understand what he was insinuating. But he always thinks I've got an ulterior motive and a spade isn't just a spade. So I'm worried any future communications will always be taken in the wrong way. I also couldn't get how he would deem a minor sock disagreement inappropriate, but he can loudly accuse me of abuse and spying on him etc right in front of the kids. But when I mention something innocent, I'm being a bad parent by discussing it in front of the kids.