Housing needs

[Lookforhope]

Nightmare divorce
One thing my husband is adamant on is that I don’t need a 4 bed house
It’s for me & our two (same sex) kids
I have them 65% of the time
We have remained in the family home (5 bed detached) & the kids (13 and 9) have their own rooms. I accept we have to sell it. I don’t want to stay anyway. Too many bad memories.

I work from home 3/5 days a week
He earns £320K. I earn £45K.

I was working part time but since finding out about his affair I went full time then got a promotion

I have maximised my earning capacity but even with maxing out my mortgage capacity (not something I really want to do but hey ho) I can’t afford a 4 bed house in an appropriate area with a 50/50 split of the house equity

STBXH insists I just have to get a 3 bed
I am geographically limited because of their schools & my work
I think it means I should get more than 50%!!!!

Any advice?

You don’t need a 4 bed and the courts would deem 3 suitable

Why do you need 4 bedrooms ?

You don't need 4 bedrooms , 3 will do

The split will depend on

the overall assets available
both your earnings
both parties mortgage ability
trading of equity for pension
etc

but you won’t be awarded more on the basis of needing a 4 bed house

With your disparity of income and childcare it's likely you will be awarded more then 50/50.

Have you actually worked out what the total joint pot is? I imagine on his salary he will have a substantial pension to offset equity in the house. You will also get a chunk of maintenance. You are also in the realm that spousal maintenance might be considered (although courts try to avoid this and considering your ex's behaviour perhaps a clean break would be sensible)

Saying all this, no you don't need a 4 bed but equally he can't dictate what you end up with, that is for the courts to decide and if you end up with enough to afford a 4 bed then you can buy one.

You don’t need a 4 bed? Your needs are a 3 bed

Thanks for all the replys
And this is where I’m so confused

I have the kids for more time - he has a (much) bigger salary (& mortgage capacity) so they could theoretically spend the majority of their time likely sharing a bedroom as everyone knows most 3 bed houses the 3rd bedroom is a box room
While he can live in a 5 bed house (by himself for 65%) of the time

There is more than enough money to go around so surely that’s where fairness takes over from ‘needs’?????

It doesn’t matter what he thinks, a court will decide how to split your assets (including his pension) then it’s up to you what you buy with your share (hopefully enough for a 4 bed!)

If it goes to court they will work on the basis that you need a 3 bed house. You may be able to get a larger house depending on how assets are divided up, but your needs will be calculated for a 3 bedroom house.

Is the thinking that the 4th bedroom is your WFH space as that's the only argument I can see for suggesting you need 4 bedrooms.

Get a list of all assets:
Savings
Equity
Pensions

Only when you have all these details can you possibly start to think/decide what you will get

Settlement will be based on 2 principles

1 needs
2 sharing

so firstly needs of both parties are determined - you both need a 3 bed house. Are there enough assets to provide for this for both parties, if so then that’s what will happen

2 if there is anything left after needs provided for, they will be shared out

his large salary means you could argue for spousal or get that capitalised upfront. You can argue that he has ability to mortgage much greater and recover much quicker therefore you need more than 50% of equity.

are you factoring cms into your income and mortgage capacity ?