Advice? Moving back home with primary age child

[plantsandcats]

Hi all, sorry for long post!
Just looking for some advice and a handhold really during a difficult period.
I am 27 and Currently renting a house I absolutely adore with DP, in a lovely area, the house is much bigger than we need as DP’s parents live abroad so we have a spare room for them when they visit and an extra office space for DP.
After a very tricky few months DP has announced he is leaving - I’ve been absolutely devastated
i also need to mention that just before Christmas I quit my well paying job to pursue a new career (which DP fully supported me doing at the time) money has been tighter and there’s currently no job security for me, but as I say, I thought I had his support until I got sorted with this
I’m now faced with the very expensive rent of a very big house I don’t need, no job security from one day to the next currently, and a DS in a primary school he really loves, alone
my mum lives in a different area, and has the space for us (a bedroom each) and is willing to welcome us with open arms (I appreciate I am soo lucky to have my mum and this option)
it would help financially, give me time to get back on my feet and not give up on this new career I’ve been working so hard on (if I stay where I am I will very quickly have to go back into a job I really didn’t enjoy) but I think my DS would be devastated to move schools. He’s been there for y1 & y2 (reception was again a different primary school which adds to the worry/guilt of moving him but it was a very different school he didn’t get on in at all and doesn’t really remember it anyway)
ex-DP now says if I did this I would be ruining DS’s life by moving him
I am so wrecked with guilt and worry I don’t know what to do
I also feel like it’d make me a huge failure to move back home with DS at my age :(
any advice? Thank you x

We moved our year 2 kid in September. It’s hard being new, but he’s made friends now, and indeed we’re just back from the first birthday party he’s been invited to. You’ve got to take a view about what’s best for you both overall, and it sounds like a no brainer to move into your Mum’s house. I’m sorry you’re having to go through all this.

ex-DP now says if I did this I would be ruining DS’s life by moving him

Fuck him. Sounds like he's the reason you're in this position. I'd be reminding him of that and telling him that every time dc got upset at moving, I'd be telling him exactly why we had to move (I wouldn't but I'd tell the prick of an ex I would).

How far is the school? I would still do it if I'm honest

I thought the same but you've expressed it better than I have - Fuck him. Prick

He has really left me in the shit :( DS’s current school is too far from my mums to keep him there
thank you for the responses it makes me feel a lot better about the situation! Struggling so much with the guilt, I keep thinking just suck it up and go back to old career and attempt to muddle through financially so he gets to stay here and not be moved :(

There are practical hurdles you need to consider. You need the father’s permission to change schools. Plus he can object to a major and unnecessary relocation.

I cannot agree with the idea that the father is punished because he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. Nobody should be compelled to stay in a relationship they don’t want. It is also not fair that the child should suffer because he left you.

Whilst i don’t think moving home or school is something to be avoided at all costs I do think this is a situation where the child’s need should be prioritised if you can. Many men and women get separated or divorced with children and recognise that they have a responsibility to avoid unnecessary upheaval for their children. It isn’t right that they have to endure long journeys to see their parents and lose out on their childhood experiences and friendships because of it.