i have posted before about the toxic marriage I and W endure. Bottom line is she wants it to continue even though she doesn’t like it (fear or being alone, loss of money, not being able to retire while I remain working) but I cannot do it anymore. No-one else, no desire for anyone else. I’d much rather live on my own even if I’m pretty hard up.
So I’m making plans to leave. There are risks to this, destruction of my possessions being one so I need a place to go to straight after ending things.
we both earn full-time. Me more than her now. I can just afford to rent a 1 bed flat, pay half the mortgage and half the costs of the dog and all the credit card bills. She would just have her car financing and half mortgage. She will be better off than me in this period which I can live with if it means it gets me out.
We have no savings of any note so once out as part of the divorce the house will have to be sold. It might be her family step in to allow a buy out but if they do they will understandably be making very low offers to me. Right now based on neighbour selling it has just over £200K equity.
No dependant children, we both have adult children from previous marriages who are financially well set up thank God.
Of course I’ll need to speak to mortgage brokers, my question is will it even be worth doing so as I’ll turn 60 in 2026.
Assuming we use solicitors for the divorce and costs of selling I guess I’ll end up with £100k minus maybe £20k for divorce, selling costs. We both have public sector pensions as main ones and some older small ones but as I’m the higher earner I guess I’ll either have to take a much lower share of the equity to balance and keep my pension or pay her from mine once I get it.
A 1 or 2 bed flat in my area is about £220-£250k. If I put in say £50k is anyone going to lend me £180k plus that I’ll have to pay back from my pension (which isn’t bad but obviously less than my salary which has a take home of £3750 and won’t rise now apart from any annual pay rise). It would be affordable now as a repayment over 15 years but I’m not at all sure it would be on a pension.
I don’t need to leave it to my children so are there better options- rent until I die? Some other scheme?