Finances after divorce

[usuallyjustlooking]

I have filed for divorce but need to sort finances. Husband moved out and rents a flat. Currently pays me £ for son but son is 18 and will finish college this year so will be stopping this. Adamant he wants 50% of everything. He has acknowledged his pension is more than mine so willing to factor that in but isn’t willing to acknowledge that I might need more than him as I need to house our two children ( 18 and 22). The kids don’t talk to him since the split! Has anyone got any more than 50% due to housing adult kids or is this something I just need to accept. I can’t afford to buy him out

If it's a long marriage and you are a lower earner or was disadvantages by having children/staying at home for example then yes you might get more, probably not much more as technically the children are adults and (as unfair as it seems) they aren't dependants any more.

Can you give us info on marital assets, earning etc? The courts will prioritise housing you both but the children won't need to be housed most likely (perhaps someone can correct me here re adult children)

34 year relationship 25 years married I worked pt when children were little so didn’t earn much. Husband self employed. Now I work full time so possibly in a similar position to him now.

You’ll need a solicitor

Your adult children will not be factored into any housing needs at all.

what will be is

the long marriage
both parties income potential
your ages and if one party is much older /near retirement than the other

based in the limited info here ts likely to be 50:50 split as you can’t argue your housing needs are greater and your incomes are similar

Starting point will be 50/50, housing of your 2 18 and over children probably won't come into the equation since they are both seen as adults.

You have to accept that once children become adults, their parents relate to them as adults as well.

So, they have to earn enough money to pay for accommodation, including at your house if you need them to. They can get that from paid employment, student loans and (hopefully) your ex husband.

But they need to ask him for this directly. They are no longer children and need to take responsibility for paying their way. Is your 22 year old still in full time education because, really, they definitely need to become independent in the very near future.

You say your children want nothing to do with him. Would he accommodate them some of the time were that to change.

Very likely that you’ll split everything 50:50 this will depend on both of your mortgage capacities. Being self employed his may be lower? The court will want to split the assets in a way that ensures you are both housed suitably - so you both need to afford a 1 bed flat/house anything extra is a bonus I’m afraid.

Friend got more because of abuse.

I would look at what 50/50 looks like

How much exactly is the equity in the house. How much is his pension worth and your pension worth, have either of you any joint or sole savings, investments etc, any other properties, cars, jewellery watches, designer bags or clothing, also how much his business worth (Friend had her exh’s business as a marital asset as it was started during their long marriage) see HMRC to see the latest accounts etc and if it has premises or equipment all these things need to be taken account of.

Then divide by 2 and you might be surprised at the figure. (Friend let her exh keep the business and she took the marital home that her exh had bought during their marriage in his sole name and had paid off the mortgage. He fully expected to keep everything and had offered her a joke of a settlement. She took it to court and he lost everything he thought was a given was his. I think people don’t understand what a marital asset is.

Or that marriage is a legal contract and if you want out of the contract then there are legal rules you have to follow and that involves everything you have your sole or joint names on bought earned or grown during your marriage is considered marital property.

You can’t just say I own everything so go away and I will pay for your uber to drop you at the homeless shelter

Being self employed his business will have a value. Does he have tools, a company vehicle, business premises etc

Just because someone is self employed doesn’t mean that there business isn’t worth anything.

Hi, so sorry to read stuff like this. Some men are just vile. I’ve been there!
If your children/adults have a disability that must be considered by the courts as rules are different if that is the case.
I agree with the comment about checking every last thing of your ex’s business including assets. Be ruthless!

You don’t ‘need’ to house an 18 and a 22 year old: that’s the truth of it. I think 50/50 is fair in this case.

That’s correct, but his income or the way the income is taken could impact his mortgage capacity

What does HE say when you ask where the children will live? Does he have any moral feelings or has he moved on and dumped them?
I was in the same position and luckily Ex agreed it was best they were housed by me. I took more equity from the family home to afford something for 4 adults (near London) so he could run off to the countryside with new GF guilt free.
Sadly you are relying on his sense of parental responsibility as the law doesn’t recognise the reality of needing to support 18+ for many years these day.