Realistic Asset Split

[MellowReader]

After trying to agree through mediation for 2.5 years I find myself in court. I earn 80k, he earns 32. Pays no CMs and lives with parents. Pays no rent for where he lives and spends the WHOLE of what he on earns on himself. Is it likely he will get 50% of my pension and equity in the house? Child with me 100% of time.

How long was the marriage? Is there any ring fencing of the property?

Why does he pay no CMS?

Did he spend and time as a sahd after child was born?

You shouldn't find yourself in court with no understanding of this situation in advance.

are solicitors involved? Have you both exchanged your Form E yet? You need to know in advance what his intentions are, or is that why you're having to go to court because he refusing to engage in the process?

the court's view will be

• how long was the marriage?
• although assets tend to start at 50/50, if you have the children 100% of the time and he pays nothing towards them, the court's view will very much take that into account in their decision.
• do both sides have sufficient funds for their living needs? If he is in employment then that will be taken into account.

you could try to settle with a cash sum, and in return gain agreement that he won't have any claim in your pension.

If you have children still living in the house, and you're the sole caregiver, there could be a ringfenced amount agreed on the property once the children are out of ft education in the future, how much equity is in the property?

What was the financial situation 2.5 years ago when you separated, who paid the house deposit and mortgage, is your respective income disparity same now as it was during the time you lived together?

Do you both have zero savings or investments or other assets (comparable vehicles?)

How old is the child now?

Whether he pays rent or for his living costs now is not relevant unless he allows it to be.

the answer probably lies in how you long you’ve been married and cohabited prior. But yes it will most likely be near 50:50 unless you can agree lower between you or it’s a short relationship

put in a claim for cms

In the absence of any information to the contrary, yes he will get half your pension and a share of the equity. This assumes you are married. With an income of 80k you are unlikely to get a mesher order.

He is likely to state living with hidden parents is not being adequately housed but that it is a temporary option due to you living in the family home and refusing to sell or give him his share. All he needs is a statement from his parents saying they don’t see it as a long term solution.

The judge will want to know why he isn’t seeing his child or paying child support. For your part you will need to explain why you haven’t claimed for child support.

But in terms of equity splits your need with be a 2 bed property and his a one bed property. You can obviously get a much bigger mortgage than him.

Thank you all.

Got to this point as he has refused to mediate or try to resolve the situation. Financial information shared etc and offer given but as yet he is yet to declare what he wants. It feels as if he just wants to ruin me.

i think I know the reality of what you are all saying. Maybe I am disillusioned but nothing about it seems 'fair' if you are hardworking and do right by your children.

As many men feel

Before it goes to court and considering neither of you seem to have particularly big assets have you made a reasonable offer? To get to court you either have to self represent or pay for lawyers. In reality a judge isn’t going to give you a lot of time to rehash whatever history you have. He is going to direct you both to a split that is something you could have agreed yourselves and tell you to come back with something similar.

Pension sharing is a pretty standard outcome for two people of the same age who have together a long time. If 50% of the equity and your income/outgoings is enough for you to buy a suitable property then your needs are met. Get ahead of that situation by crafting legal arguments to secure more equity. Your opinions and expectations on fairness will get in the way of that.

I get he is being uncooperative but are you being unrealistic ?

How long was the marriage as this is key.

I have made an offer of a split and accept that he will be entitled to some of my pension.

I can very much see fairness is not part of the deal but we, for want of a better word, arguing over a very small pot. This could have been agreed over a year ago. By not stating what he wants it is impossible to negotiate.

thank you for your realistic reply.

Very few men end up with 100% custody and zero maintenance paid. Very few men take career breaks to do childcare and have their earning potential affected by this.

I take your point but divorce settlements are still given to women who have not sacrificed any income. My ex did more childcare than me (he had a less demanding job) but he didn’t sacrifice any income as that was his job long term. Yet if we had been married he could have claimed my hard saved pension and assets. Doesn’t seem fair to me

It is a bit of a contentious issue. I get that. I'm not saying he's not entitled to anything. But if he chose to have a job with no demands, when he had better options that meant he could earn MORE than I do, it's a bitter pill to swallow.
add to that the total lack of support for his children.
never been the homemaker. Never had childcare responsibilities.

this could happen to a man or women. Gender is not the issue here.

Based on that reality, once you've legally divorced, your career will already be in full swing, his career will be non-existent. You've made your choice to maximise your earning potential and he hasn't bothered, so you're the net winner here.

Whatever his claim in your pension is, do your calculations and negotiate a set £value not a %. What you want is a clean break, not variables, only absolutes so your "loss " is known and can be ring fenced.

If he tries to go for a %, tell him "on your bike, we were married x years, so the pension won't be an open check book after we have gone our separate ways. It will take account of the years we were married and nothing more."

if he has 1+ occupational pensions, that definitely needs to be declared on the form E in full and form part of the negotiation. If he already has a pension, the court shouldn't by rights let him get his grubby mitts on your pension, he's got his own!

Thank you ❤️