What does an amicable separate cohabitation mean / look like?

[MalteaserQueen]

DH and I have just agreed to split. Our split is amicable but sad and there are patches of resentment here and there but there's been no big affair or falling out. We are still in the same house but separate rooms as we have no other option for now.

What does this mean for how we live day-to-day?

So does this mean that we continue to cook for each other? Do I do his washing or shall I free myself from that task?

It all seems so very weird and I don't know how to act or what to do.

I guess I'm just asking for what your amicable separate cohabitation looked like?

I’m in the same boat and we’ve been living separate lives for years, separate bedrooms etc. last year I started the divorce but we are still living together and it’s not the easiest thing to do as although there is no unpleasant feelings etc but we don’t talk and it’s emotionally draining living like this. I don’t cook for him unless I make a dish for myself then he can have it. There is certainly resentment but it’s how much you can deal with. I’m looking to sell as cannot live like this for the foreseeable. You need to be strong and do what makes you happy

I’m in the same position as you, separated almost a month ago, separate bedrooms, we need to work on the house before we can sell it & move on.

We have a DC so we are still sharing the load between us and cooking/washing for each other. It is however awkward when it’s just us in the evening. Very up and down, so unfortunately I have no advice but following with interest!

I agree with not knowing how to act or what to do either, it all seems so awkward!

Myself & partner decided to split recently, we’re still sharing a bed which is not ideal, but single bed so uncomfortable neither of us wants to take it. I agree evenings are the most awkward, watching tv in silence. Worse when we’re having a drink though & that leads to arguments. Can’t win really. I feel your pain x

DH asked me to join him out for dinner with friends last night. He was already out with them and their wives turned up. I would normally have said yes but it was just beyond me to go out and try and play the happy couple routine. He seems to be able to compartmentalise it all and socialise. It's all I can do to turn up to work and manage not to cry. Can't not work, but painting on a smile is so blinkin' hard.

I think it will be unique to each couple. It will need +++ communication to prevent escalation.

Male here but I do all my own washing and cooking, wife is vegan and we never really liked same things anyway. Been separated 10 months but been in separate rooms for much longer than that anyway. I tend to pay most bills and keep a record of it. Where it's a bit messier is small things like cleaning supplies or buying food for son. However it the general scheme of things I'm not getting too petty. I think if you look online at solicitors web pages on divorce they tend to suggest that the definition of separation to meet the criteria for divorce generally seems to be living entirely separate lives from a financial, food, cleaning, washing etc point of view. But I think most people's lives are still going to be somewhat intertwined whilst under the same roof and pragmatic decisions need to be made, especially if you haven't got a financial agreement in place yet.