What could our custody arrangement look like?

[LaundryD]

soon to be ex works 3 x 12 hour shifts per week (long days or nights)

I’m not working but will soon be starting a part time job (3 days per week)

As ex works only 3 days could he potentially try and have the children 4 nights per week?

His shifts are random but he seems to be getting a lot of weekends off lately.

What does everyone’s custody arrangements look like? Especially if one parents work shifts change weekly? Thanks ☺️

How old are the kids and where is the consistency for them if your ex is working different shifts eery week?

You should be framing the discussion around what the children need rather than how they can fit into your respective schedules. A start and a fundamental is that they need time with both parents. There should be routine time where you both provide practical parenting, getting them to and from school, supporting them with homework, providing food, sorting healthcare and enabling their friendships and hobbies. There should quality parental time as well for leisure and fun.

The pair of you need to look at their lives and state how you can provide them with that and work / have a life. Both of you need to be willing to cooperate with each other and the arrangements. This includes being flexible and adaptable if that is necessary. But this is within reason. For example he should provide his rota promptly to help with planning their routine. You might need to work around the rota but not his personal life. However if is constantly changing it might not be possible for you to do that.

Some childcare is acceptable but passing your parental role off to someone else for extended periods means you are not using the time to parent. Then the other parent could step in and take over in those circumstances if they are able.