Waking up to his behaviour post separation

[loulou1979]

Hi, we are going through the divorce process but still living together until he moves into his new house.

I’m starting to see my ex’s behaviour for what it is, how controlling and manipulative he is, and narcissistic traits that I didn’t see or didn’t want to see before. It’s like I’ve woken up somehow, if that makes any sense.

Is this normal? Is it because we are still living together and he’s pushing my buttons?

I remember that stage. It was about a week until I told him I was going to leave (I moved out after a month). Its crazy. Wonder if there is a technical name for the blinkers falling off?

It’s also normal for behaviour to deteriorate after a relationship ending. See post-separation abuse.

I hope you get your space to yourself soon.

Absolutely normal, but still shocking. Have you read It's not you, by Dr Ramani?

Completely normal. I think, well for me, everything was my fault so when we split i assumed it would get better. But actually post separation abuse escalated matters. Therapy really helped. Look up 'The Power and Control Wheel' really helps to understand. Please document everything and have as little verbal communication as possible, written is best. Everything crossed for you.

No but im going to! Thanks ☺️